"I thought that when we agreed to get married, you were mature enough to handle our age difference and that it wouldn't matter to you. We love each other and want to spend our lives together raising a family. Your paranoia about us is pushing me away. Is that what you want? I want us, I want our family... but I cannot continue to constantly reassure you that this is what I want. You have to believe it in order for us to work. What do you want to do?"
I think I would approach her along these lines. Not to put words in your mouth, but I think you need to make a declaration and then move forward from that. Let her know that this is not how you want to spend your life with her in the most direct but loving way.
It's more or less a conversation I have had with her, I have tried to convince her that the age gap dosnt matter to me, that I wouldn't have married her and starting a family if I wasn't sure about the relationship, she comes round, but then gets set off my the silliest things.
She also apologises all the time, she knows deep down I love her, but can't stop herself from almost constant checking up on me. She will phone my work multiple times just to check I'm there, don't get me wrong, I love hearing from her and would never want to discourage her from contacting me at time, but deep down iknow she's checking up on me.
She will say things like " how can you find me attractive", which really hurt me as I also tell her how much I fancy her, how sexy she is, she won't just accept it.
I'm dreading next week when I have to go away for the weekend due to work commitments, I will have to stay at a hotel for three nights. And apart from the fact I will miss my family, I know she will accuse me of something. I just want her to get over these negative feelings.
How can I be a better husband for her? What can I do to make her feel better?