How do you meet the needs of your significant other?

southern wife · 08-02-2012, 01:23 PM

Emotionally & Mentally, how do you meet the needs of your spouse?

that_girl · 08-02-2012, 01:34 PM

I listen and validate how he feels.

I support him and back him up, especially in public. If I believe he's wrong, I will say it-- privately.

I tell him what I think of him and how much he means to me and our family.

I make him feel secure and wanted in our home by being "here" and making sure his physical needs are met.

I have learned to bite my tongue with sarcasm, and instead, tell him how I FEEL about his actions, and for him to help clarify things if I have misunderstood.

We hang out a lot as friends. We laugh and have fun.

Maricha75 · 08-02-2012, 01:48 PM

I really don't know that I do, tbh. How do you know if you even are if it's like pulling teeth to get any kind of communication out?

I do the things TG mentioned, so maybe it's more that I feel that MY needs are falling by the wayside? Not really sure. But how do you communicate with someone who says communication is our problem... so you try to work on it, only to have him clam up?

southern wife · 08-02-2012, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maricha75

I really don't know that I do, tbh. How do you know if you even are if it's like pulling teeth to get any kind of communication out?

I do the things TG mentioned, so maybe it's more that I feel that MY needs are falling by the wayside? Not really sure. But how do you communicate with someone who says communication is our problem... so you try to work on it, only to have him clam up?

Sorry to hear that.....must be difficult.

that_girl · 08-02-2012, 01:53 PM

It is hard. Only thing that saved us was him leaving and us having to rebuild.

Maricha75 · 08-02-2012, 01:55 PM

Yea, but we all have our problems, right? I have a plan of action to try to get things going again, I just need to figure out how to execute it. But, I am pretty sure the things I do meet his needs, which I wasn't doing for the longest time (which brought me to TAM in the first place). So, I just need to figure out how to get into his head, so to speak.

A Bit Much · 08-02-2012, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by southern wife

Emotionally & Mentally, how do you meet the needs of your spouse?

BJ's.

I grill him steaks every now and again.

I keep Maker's Mark on hand for those rough days at work.

Lot's of touching, outside of the bedroom.

I affirm him.

I listen when he opens up.

I give him space.

I keep him guessing. He gets bored really easily.

Advocado · 08-02-2012, 06:36 PM

I would try to work out what his specific needs were and try and meet as many of them as I could. The problem is if/when they have needs that you are unaware of and they don't tell you.

If only I was psychic - sigh!

MrsKeepTrying · 08-02-2012, 06:40 PM

I could learn some things in this thread. I've been asking the same question myself. I'm having trouble affirming my love, respect and devotion to him due to some errors in judgment (nothing like cheating or anything like that...just careless actions).

Now he's got a shell on him that I can't crack to save my life. I've been thinking since Sunday and my ideas (romantic dinner, lingerie, field trip to watch live soccer games) are coming across as "things" to him so he's not interested. How do I SHOW him that I'm meeting his needs if he thinks I'm being hypocritcal just to smooth things over?

*sitting next to southern_wife with an expectant expression*

that_girl · 08-02-2012, 06:53 PM

Also, my husband likes when I do things for him that he should do...like yard work, sweeping out the garage, putting his Rockstar in the fridge the night before

Just little things make him smile.

Don't get me wrong, he meets my needs too.

Last night, he hopped out of bed around 11 and said, "I need to put Rockstars in the fridge!" and he was at the door and I mumbled, "I put them in this morning when I saw your stash was out..."....zzzzz....

I got mass snuggles. LOL!

Advocado · 08-02-2012, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by that_girl

Also, my husband likes when I do things for him that he should do...like yard work, sweeping out the garage, putting his Rockstar in the fridge the night before

Brilliant and simple - I should do this.

Mavash. · 08-02-2012, 07:10 PM

I make sure my husband knows he's my hero.

Everyday I tell him how great he is and how much I want him.

I look deeply into his eyes while he talks. The vibe I'm sending is that I think he's just the greatest thing ever.

I touch him regularly and often.

I recognize when he needs space vs when he wants me close.

I let him be master of the remote control.