08-06-2012, 09:30 AM
Join Date: Dec 2008
You are right. Here's the issue ... My boss made me the point person in the emergency. That is the basis of my job. On smaller issues... I could back out or make an excuse, but If I wasn't there on THIS... I would have been fired. It was the biggest tragedy we've almost ever seen. So I didn't have flexibility. In order to handle everything... I begged for 2 hours free time so I could get things somehow situated. My boss agreed as long as I was there on time... In 2 hours. I texted my husband and asked him for his help. I told him I had a couple of things he HAD to do for me. He didn't respond. When I finally got him on the phone and asked him to call The realtor while I went to meet the movers... He simply said he "had no flexibility". He refused.
I don't cry easily but that day... I literally drive to our house crying. I was soworried
About our son and having him well cares for. Normally I would just bring him with me, but with THIS I couldn't.
The issue is my husband is never there for me unless it's on his free time. I think was the worst possible example of that.
It almost feels like something I could leave him over. I would hate to break up our family. But my DH is living for DH.
It was my bday last week. My mom came into town and had a cake and a card. My husband said he'd make dinner... He didn't even get me a card or a present. Nothing. He still says its coming.
Instead, on the night of my bday he nearly cut his finger off. I had to take him to the ER. He's very accident prone and I sat thinking... How am I going to get him to be more careful?
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Originally Posted by sisters359
Is this a pattern? I'm not sure it is fair for any of us to think we are "indespensible" to any situation, and if something happens once, we can accept it isn't our time and let it go. But if one person always believes they are too important to not show up, then there is an imbalance.
I think this question could apply to both you and your h. If you could not appear on TV or whatever, the news people could find someone else. If he had meetings scheduled and there is something as unpredictable as the shooting, no one would blink if he made his excuses for the sudden need to change meetings, no matter how long ago they were scheduled.
Balance is the important element. If you are always being left to deal with everything, well, I sympathize. That gets old, really fast. And perhaps worse, you may lose respect for the person who seems unable to deal with anything outside his normal work and routines; I know I did.