trisha21

In short
Im in my second marriage been together for 10 years 2 kids together and kids from previous marriages on both sides
Very unstable argumentative lying ex on his side. His kids have been living with us for 2 years .
The mother in law up until a month ago i thought i got on with has been upset with the way i treat her grandkids and it come to ahead and ive told her how i feel and she didnt like it. The 18yr old daughter that stayed with mum kicked it off with mother in law saying i was keeping her father from her and then the ball rolled with every grype the kids have ever had with me from cleaning the room to wat they take for lunch. Its just been 10yrs a drama and im just sick of it.
I work 4 days a week to help finance the extra mouths to feed private school etc there mum pays nothing. my husband works in our business that is his life long dream that isnt paying enough for everything.
I do everything house, yard if i get angry and make a seen i get some help while thats happening but besides that nothing
He is very demanding with me wanting sex constantly whether i want it or not and he feels im just angry all the time im really resenting the whole lot of them . I love him but dont want this life....He tells me he loves me constantly but looks at porn He know this angers me so he has just become better at hiding it. Is this love Really??
Im really independent and just feel like walking am i being selfish. is this what marriage is ????
I just want to leave but know im doing wrong by the kids if i do so...

trisha21

Hi mate im interested in why you think this is a abusive marriage
He isnt physical he isnt verbally abusive
Am i missing something ????

KanDo

What?

To the OP. You sound quite resentful. You need to have an honest discussion with the hubby and get the things that you are angry about out in the open. Sounds like you feel you are carrying the work of the household. Would your husband agree? Also sounds like you don't believe your husband is supporting you against his mother and the kids. If you don't work on this, it will only get worse.

Good luck.

trisha21

Thanks Kan Do
Yes ive talked to him Works for a week then everything goes back to this..He is angry with his mum also he doesn't agree with her.
I feel we are on different paths hes focused on building his business and im the house keeper He doesn't understand why i feel so down . I just dont enjoy or get any pleasure from looking after everyone anymore. Its like no one cares how the house or yard looks but me Im the problem, He goes and socializes with friends and i work . I have no family i speak to anymore and i dont socialize iv really lost myself.

surfryhder

I am very concerned with the part you posted that says he wants sex even if you do not want it. If your husband is using fear or intimidation to get you to have sex with him than this is not healthy....

rahul1982

Life is beautiful and we get life only once ..why to think so much?? If u are happy in a relationship continue,if not try to find way to manage it .if you think now u are not able to stable everything .. bette to move out

better to feel yourself rather then thinking about others,

Thanks!
Rahul

KanDo

I'm sorry it has gotten to this. I think you need to set expectations. List the things you are going to do and have expectations for the other members of the household. He doesn't get to go socialize until all his tasks and those of his children are finished. His Mom needs to butt out or get out. End of story.

You need to "find" yourself. ( you know you really can't lose yourself. You just stop doing things that mattered to you and get resentful. Despite the contribution of your family situation, you are responsible for this. sorry)

If he is unwilling to step up, he needs to know yuo will be stepping out of the relationship.