Feeling less like a fool

travellover · 08-09-2012, 08:53 AM

Same situation last night that has occurred before. My H went to bed and I stayed up for a while. This morning my H asked why I came to bed so late? I can't count the number of times during our marriage that he said he would be home, I went to bed, woke up much later to find him not home yet. When I would confront him, my answer was usually that he lost track of time and he would start a fight. I find it interesting that he just has to know what I was doing (in our home by myself while he is sleeping) and gets angry, but that I'm just supposed to accept that he "forgot what time it was". He woke me up early on purpose which he knew would make me angry and then said well I obviously can't talk to you this morning since you're pissed. The difference today was, I JUST DIDN'T CARE. I know that my process of disengaging my emotions from him will be complicated, but this morning felt good. The advice that I've gotten here really is in my head and I'm trying to keep it there

C123 · 08-09-2012, 09:14 AM

Let me help:

FVCK THIS GUY!

What an absolute controlling piece of shiit. Stay strong. You deserve so much more.

(I say this having read all of her original post)

This is me · 08-09-2012, 09:22 AM

Let me really help:

I think most marriages are salvagable and with the right professional help can become joyous and loving again.

One thing most honest people will admit is we all contribute to some degree in the problems in a marriage and it really only takes one to turn the ship around and head it in the right direction.

It is clear there is resentment built up and this is poison to a marriage. So if you really want to save your marriage can you both head to MC?

If so, find one you both agree with is a good match and have an agreement up-front that you will interview MC's till you both agree. If you ask around some people you know likely already went through a couple and can recommend a good one.

Best wishes to you both.

C123 · 08-09-2012, 09:26 AM

This is me - did you read her original post? Her husband has been taking advantage of her and cheating on her for ages and refuses to accept any responsibility for his actions.

travellover · 08-09-2012, 10:23 AM

Thank you C123. It's kind of funny, your comments are the kind that I would make to a friend if she was having these kinds of problems, but I've not been able to apply to my own relationship.