First post on here and I feel unsure of how exactly to best state my feelings. It's not something i wish to discuss (yet) with those closest to me, so hopefully strangers on the internet can provide some insight.
My husband an I are both 24, and have been married for just over 7 months. We were together for just over 2 years before getting married and were engaged after a year. Needless to say, I thought I had found my dream man. I had never had a serious boyfriend before my husband (too busy with school) and he had only 1 girlfriend before myself, so we came from the same page.
On the outside, I think it looks like we have a great life. We never argue in public, own a house, have a dog, he has a great full-time job and is finishing his degree in the evening with online classes. I'm a medical student so i'm busy with school.
When we met, I was so struck by how someone could be so sweet towards me. He showered me with affection, doing nice things for me (such as randomly cleaning my house and leaving flowers), buying gifts (at a much smaller budget back then, but all extremely heartfelt and thoughtful). I was head over heels and never had doubts about marrying this man.
However, ever since we have been married I am just filled with sadness. I feel as though he has completey changed. There was a time he wanted to spend all his time with me, and now he never wants to do anything with me. We used to go for random coffee dates (again, we are both students) and now I have to drag him even to do the one thing a week we do--go grocery shopping (because i'm a small girl and carrying heavy bags is tiring). I've tried everything I can--talking to him about how I feel neglected, how I miss spending time with him, how I feel alone, how I feel like he has changed. His response is always the same--he apologizes, promises he will change, and then tries to buy my affection with gifts (of which, I have never asked for and I constantly ask him to stop doing that and rather try to do something more heartfelt).
I love my husband but I'm just unsure if what i'm feeling is normal for less than 1 year into marriage. Am I building up things too much in my head (as I know I have a tendancy to do?). I just look back pre-marriage and can't help but think that things were so much better before. I don't want to sound like a whiner as my husband really is a great guy, but that spark seems to be gone and I feel like i'm nothing more than a roommate to him. I have tried everything I can, even losing close to 20lbs over the year as I thought that if I got more fit, he'd be more proud to be with me and want to do things together (stupid thinking, and no, he has never mentioned losing weight to me. I've always been on the smaller side at 5'2" and 130lbs but am now 110lbs). Rather, it did nothing.
I'm concnered that if this keeps happening, our marriage won't last. As a student in med school, the divorce/couples breaking up rate is much higher than the "normal" world with rates close to 80%. I'm afraid i'll be just a statistic, but I also feel i'd rather be alone than force myself on someone who does not want me
Any advice or thoughts or stories would be great. I'm fully aware it may be me who is unreasonable and if others feel the same, then it's time I do some serious reflection.