08-13-2012, 04:09 AM
Join Date: Aug 2012
| | Can't seem to get my marriage on an even keel
I have been married for just over a year and I love and need my wife very much. She also loves and needs me very much, but we can't seem to stop arguing. It usually goes like this: I become self absorbed and stop listening to her, or I get irritable and snap at her. She tolerates this for a little while but then when she can't handle it any more she flips out at me, becomes inconsolable, and we have dramas for several days. This happens about once a week, so basically we spend half our lives in crisis. We've both said that maybe we love each other too much, and so our lives are always on an emotional roller-coaster. What makes it worse is that when she's upset with me I can't hold it together. The emotions I feel are too intense. I cry, I pull my hair, I generally act like a two-year-old. My wife recently asked me, without spite, to "show her a person worth loving," and not an angry child. I want to. Our lives would be so much better if I could just chill out, take everything stoically and not get ratty but I feel like I haven't got the strength of character to hold it together - I feel like I'm destined to be self-absorbed and irritable and can't stay on balance. Our arguments are costing us our intimacy and closeness and in her darker times my wife talks about us going our separate ways, despite our love. I don't want that, but what should I do?