General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Have a spouse that's the opposite of you? If so... do you find it frusterating? Do the things that frusterate you also keep you attracted? It seems like a pain but at the same time... I find it exciting oddly enough... I suppose its because of the challenges that come with this sort of relationship... anyone else going through the same thing and perhaps... feel the same way about it? Posted via Mobile Device
They say that opposites attract, but this has never been the case for me. My partner is the male equivalent of me in so many ways, and it seems to work for both of us because we share so many of the same interests. We have different temperaments (he's more grounded and less emotional), so things balance out pretty well.
I think if I were with someone who was the opposite of me, I'd find it way too challenging!
Lol it IS challenging! A lot of people I know would prefer someone similar to them... I guess I'm just weird for wanting someone who isn't all that similar to me! Posted via Mobile Device
Hubby and I are so opposite it's not even funny. Some things attract us, others repel us. However, he is so reserved, so restricted, so bent on (his idea) of maturity... Me, I'm a free spirit! I am intelligent, but I don't neglect a sense of humor. My husband has always said the things he loves the most about me are the things he lacks so much in himself. (Kind, compassionate, giving, spontaneous, etc.) I think I was initially attracted to my husband's aloofness, but this really doesn't work in the long haul... You start to feel like he's still a stranger after all these years and you realize you may not know much at all, or at least less than what you thought you did...
My ex and I were two peas in a pod. We had everything in common and we never got sick of each other. We were always having fun, making stupid jokes for the other to laugh at, had a similar and perfect combination of "retardedness" and cerebralness. We almost never fought until he lost it. Damn him. Posted via Mobile Device
Lol it IS challenging! A lot of people I know would prefer someone similar to them... I guess I'm just weird for wanting someone who isn't all that similar to me! Posted via Mobile Device
There's nothing weird in liking what we like, Gaia. I think many people are attracted to opposites.
I think it's also important to think in the same way and have a similar ideology.
For example, both love kids, both have similar level of ambition, both like to travel and things that will be important to keep things harmonised in a marriage.
Though in some circumstances opposite is better. Wife is really loud while I'm more mellow yet we compliment each other perfectly in that sense.
I find that being opposite in the introvert / extrovert area is very helpful....like Cosmos said...where he is grounded & less emotional....her husband likely helps "calm" her jets when she gets too emotional or WIRED... I know it works JUST THIS WAY with me & my husband ....and I know If I was with another with my same temperment of primarily Choleric, we would be banging our heads against the wall ... I am harder to please over him, he is EASY to please...seriously....he also has more patience than me... it helps tremendously that we want the same things in life.
It even states in tempermenets books that opposites do attract in this area...they fill in the gaps for each others strenghts & weaknesses. So long as they understand each other, this works well.
Where I think it gets sticky is when those love languages are way off, with her tops at his bottoms & vice versa, as I think we all want what we want....and it is hard to change our inborn LONGING in these areas, even if we do understand, it is still a PUSHING to please in many ways.
And when our personal marital goals, beliefs, dreams, how we handle $$, ideas of parentings, all these little things...they add up pretty significantly.
Quote:
Feelingdown said : For example, both love kids, both have similar level of ambition, both like to travel and things that will be important to keep things harmonised in a marriage.
SimplyAmorous posted: I find that being opposite in the introvert / extrovert area is very helpful....like Cosmos said...where he is grounded & less emotional....her husband likely helps "calm" her jets when she gets too emotional or WIRED... I know it works JUST THIS WAY with me & my husband ....and I know If I was with another with my same temperment of primarily Choleric, we would be banging our heads against the wall ... I am harder to please over him, he is EASY to please...seriously....he also has more patience than me... it helps tremendously that we want the same things in life.
Spot on. When I'm bouncing off the walls and swinging from the chandeliers, he's there to slow me down and/or catch me! Conversely, I've helped him get a little more in touch with his emotional side.
My ex was my complete opposite.For me it was a struggle.Some people do great in a relationship with their oppposite.Some people need someone who is similar to them.
I like a good balance.Some differences,some similarities.
Too many differences especially emotional differences make me feel lonely and shut off.
4Likes
Anyone else? 
Damn him. 
Chilly!! Good point!! 
