Silent observer

My husband and I have been married for almost 12yrs. About 9 yrs ago my husband cheated on me. I went to counseling and he went to two sessions and stopped going. I quit going because if he isn't, why should I? Well, now... I have this problem. Maybe I'm being ridiculous or maybe not.... We are friends with this other couple. My husband and the other guy went to high school together. The other guy just got engaged to his girlfriend. I like the girlfriend, she is very confident, cute, and has more guy friends then girls. She got her boobs done almost a yr ago now. I'm small chested by the way. Every time we are with them I might as well not be there. My husband always sits next to her, she goes somewhere he follows her, since her boobs she exposes them all the time and my husband just stares at them. I've brought my issues up with him but he doesn't want to listen to them saying I'm being stupid. I mentioned about getting my boobs done he says no way. I feel like I have to fight with him to get any attention from him.

Am I being ridiculous? I have been avoiding going over to the couples house because I don't want to be a 2nd priority even though I feel this way all the time with him anymore. The other guy is either oblivious to this or he just doesn't care.

What should I do??

Hopefull363

No you are not being ridiculous, your husband is. How does his friend react to him following around his fiancee like a puppy. If you noticed I'm sure the friend will too. If he won't go to counseling and is ogling other women in front of you he is not respecting you.

Start working on yourself. Maybe go to independent counseling. Do you have a job or any hobbies you can do? You do not have to go there with him and be subjected to his bad behavior towards you. Some people won't listen, they need to be shown. Distance yourself from your husband a little bit. See if he notices. If he asks you why tell him because he doesn't treat you with respect and it's hurting your feelings.

CandieGirl

Anyone who exposed her boobs to my husband would not be enjoying our company ever again. What is the matter with people???

And don't blame your husband for looking; of course he's going to look! Idiot women...

Starstarfish

This sounds like part of a much larger problem. Your husband had a PA, but didn't see it as a problem enough to go to counseling. Now he's openly ogling another woman in front of you, and again, he doesn't have respect to know that's beyond a boundary.

I disagree about blaming him. He is indeed, a grown adult, and can make a choice about what and what not to do. People do indeed, have an ability to say "No." While yes, the OW here shares some blame, this is just another instance in which the OPs husband is showing a clear lack of respect.

Honestly, I'd tell him straight out. Given that you've cheated on me, and didn't think it was serious, you getting overly friendly, with your friend's fiancee and/her chest is really bothering me. Further, it bothers me that my feeling and concerns are constantly dismissed by you.

I agree, considering going back to individual counseling, or working on improving yourself.