I still have feelings for my ex-husband... Need advice!
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Old 05-03-2009, 05:12 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Exclamation I still have feelings for my ex-husband... Need advice!

My ex-husband and I were married for four years, we divorced 2 1/2 years ago. We were together since we were teenagers, but the situation turned nasty thanks to our feuding families, my bipolar disorder, and his infidelity, leading up to our divorce in 2006.

About four months after our divorce, I ran into him when I was in our hometown, attending a family member's funeral, and we had sex. I knew he had a girlfriend, he knew I had a boyfriend- but it happened. He told me he never stopped loving me, but he was expecting a baby with his new girlfriend, whom he loved as well.

Communication went quiet for a while after that. We talked off and on up until early last year, but his new wife went ballistic, so we stopped talking. We went a year without speaking.

Recently, we've gotten back in touch, and although I'm in a relationship with a wonderful man, I find myself missing him. We talk almost every day, we share a lot of common interests, and we've always understood one another.. we're too much alike in some ways. He's just as intelligent as I am (something I have had difficulty finding in significant others since my ex) and I know there's still sexual chemistry- we constantly pick on each other about that. I know he's unhappy with his new wife, so I'm not letting him get too close, I'm not willing to go from being ex-wife to mistress.

I want him in my life. We've never been able to leave each other alone.

I don't know if he still loves me, and right now, I am too afraid to ask. We just recently got back into contact, and with all the issues he's having with his wife, I don't really want to rock the boat. What do I do? How do I know if he has the same feelings for me that I have for him, or if he's just simply lonely and wants me around just because I understand him?
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Old 05-03-2009, 06:20 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: I still have feelings for my ex-husband... Need advice!

You do have a complicated situation. I see one thing which bothers me. This man cheated on you while you were married and he cheated on his girlfriend (his current wife). And apparently he is willing to "see" you while married to his wife. Sorry to be blunt here, but can you really live with a cheater again? Also, I really don't think the feuding family issue has magically disappeared. If you got back together, I believe the same old issues would be there but worse. What about this new man in your life? Can't he offer you more than that?

Other than pointing out those conflict issues, I don't know what for you to do about your feelings. Good luck!
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Old 05-04-2009, 01:04 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Angry Re: I still have feelings for my ex-husband... Need advice!

I told him how I felt, and even he admitted he wasn't looking for anything serious at this point in time, and didn't even see us working out long-term, period. But he did not rule out the possibility.

I'm an idiot.
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