08-16-2012, 05:18 PM
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#15 (permalink)
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| Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 126
| Re: I want to understand the OW
Sometimes people do make mistakes. They're flirty and a married person likes that and they develop feelings. They're flat out misled about the other's marital status. They developed feelings in a neutral time (separation, pre marriage) and they've carried over. They bond over something they couldn't with their own spouse/SO. I'd be hesitant to lump all OW/OM into one mass category of douche bag narcissistic crazy insecure tools. Nobody's perfect. It's very human to demonize "the enemy" and take away most of the fault from the WH/WW because it makes reconciliation easier and resolves some cognitive dissonance about marrying someone who could do such a horrid thing, but I'm in the camp that the cheating spouse deserves 99% of the blame. Some people want to get laid. I don't judge them on who they do it with unless they already have a monogamous commitment to someone and are looking for external satisfaction.
That view is probably unpopular, especially among those cheated on, but I believe that we make a commitment to our spouse. Single people haven't commited anything to anyone and thus do not have the same obligation and responsibility to not sleep with our spouse.
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