I want to understand the OW
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Old 08-16-2012, 01:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default I want to understand the OW

Why would any woman be with a married man? More importantly, why would she lie to help cover for him? Why is she willing to hide out, lay low, keep it cool "for awhile"?

I don't get it and I want to understand and I want to know what to do about it!
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Old 08-16-2012, 02:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

Some people are just rotten people who care about no one but themselves and what they want. They don't care if they have to climb over others to make that happen along the way.
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Old 08-16-2012, 02:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

ask this woman?

I do bad things and want to stop
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Old 08-16-2012, 02:04 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

I think they see them as safe. They can have the fun without it becoming a marriage posibility.
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Old 08-16-2012, 02:05 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

What scaredandunsure said. They are selfish. And sometimes i think it makes them feel good to know that they are destroying another woman in the process.
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Old 08-16-2012, 02:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default

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I think they see them as safe. They can have the fun without it becoming a marriage posibility.
Its always something with the OW and its never positive.


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Old 08-16-2012, 02:14 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

besides the other responses i think its also an ego thing to get over on a another woman like hey i stole yr man or something like that
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Old 08-16-2012, 02:32 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

Women compete with each other fiercely. Conquering someone elses man is like winning a gold medal in the olympics. It makes her feel powerful.
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Old 08-16-2012, 02:51 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

The OM/OW pick men that cannot/will not commit to them, because the OM/OW has problems with commitment themselves.
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Old 08-16-2012, 03:16 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

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I really don't see this as a real thread. I think it was just posted to get a reaction and trigger people. Actually it should be taken down. This is a marriage forum not an I need therapy because I'm such a bad person forum.
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Old 08-16-2012, 04:17 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

I think that the vast majority suffer from very low self esteem and they think if they can get a married man to risk everything for them, that means they are somehow special. What they fail to realize it that most married men who cheat aren't thinking they are risking everything, they think they won't be caught. Risk in and of itself implies that somebody knows what the possible outcome is and goes all in anyways. MM don't think that way.
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Old 08-16-2012, 04:33 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

Do you ever just want to wrip her apart? I know her, we used to do things together. I have a terrible urge to call and harrass her, but I don't want to let her know how she has gotten to me, so I don't. But if I ever see her - heaven help me, I don't know if I'll be able to restrain myself.
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Old 08-16-2012, 04:39 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

Have you thought about exposing OW, sometime just a phone call to her parents, introducing your self and informing them about how there daughter is effecting the dynamics of your marriage and would like there support for the marriage you are trying to rebuild?

You can alway post OW on cheaterville .com
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Old 08-16-2012, 04:42 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

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Have you thought about exposing OW, sometime just a phone call to her parents, introducing your self and informing them about how there daughter is effecting the dynamics of your marriage and would like there support for the marriage you are trying to rebuild?

You can alway post OW on cheaterville .com
That is so cool - I've never heard of that sight before. She will be listed tonight!

As far as contacting her parents - I'm not sure how to do that in the age of cell phones. I only know their last name and the area of town they live in, not the address.

Hey - thanks for the site. First time I've smiled in a while.
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Old 08-16-2012, 05:18 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to understand the OW

Sometimes people do make mistakes. They're flirty and a married person likes that and they develop feelings. They're flat out misled about the other's marital status. They developed feelings in a neutral time (separation, pre marriage) and they've carried over. They bond over something they couldn't with their own spouse/SO. I'd be hesitant to lump all OW/OM into one mass category of douche bag narcissistic crazy insecure tools. Nobody's perfect. It's very human to demonize "the enemy" and take away most of the fault from the WH/WW because it makes reconciliation easier and resolves some cognitive dissonance about marrying someone who could do such a horrid thing, but I'm in the camp that the cheating spouse deserves 99% of the blame. Some people want to get laid. I don't judge them on who they do it with unless they already have a monogamous commitment to someone and are looking for external satisfaction.

That view is probably unpopular, especially among those cheated on, but I believe that we make a commitment to our spouse. Single people haven't commited anything to anyone and thus do not have the same obligation and responsibility to not sleep with our spouse.
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