General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
H and I were just talking about how we haven't talked to our folks in a few weeks.. and I just realized I really don't like being the one to always call them or my brother... So we want to see how long it takes for them to call us.. is that wrong? I've always tried to touch base once a week to let them know I love them, but now we're going on two weeks.. haven't heard from anyone
For years i was always the one to call or visit. Then i stopped and they took weeks to call me and they complained about me not contacting them. I was very hurt and told them.
My Mum told me...she outranked me and that i had to phone her!!
I talk to my mom nearly every day. When my grandmother was alive it was rare that I would go more than 2-3 days without visiting her, and looking back, I wish I had visited her daily. I see my grandfather a few times per month, but that's only because going to his house is still too painful since my grandmother's death(the last time I saw her was the day she died, her body lying on the livingroom floor). I see my in-laws once every few months, my husband sees them more often and talks to them regularly. I love them to death but they live an hour away, and our work schedules don't match up often. My aunt and cousins are atleast once per week. I cannot say that it is ever one sided. They make as much effort as I do.
My nearest relative lives 4 hours away. I only drive down to see them 2-3 times a year. I call my mother and grand mother every Sunday. That's about it.
My fiancee has a cousin that lives in town. They never call her unless they need a baby sitter. She never really calls them. They don't usually answer if she does.
Her dad calls her 2-3 times per month. Her mother calls her 5-6 times per day. Usually not long conversations, but an annoying amount of times and stupid early in the morning before 6 am sometimes.
I talk to my Mom almost everyday since I take care of my 90 year old Grandma and she helps when she can. My Dad lives in another state and I don't talk to him but every couple of months. We've never been real close but we FB together. I avoid my sister like the plague becuase she's a very negative person. I feel like she's sucking the life out of me. I talk to or see my brother about one a month. The in laws are also negative so I leave them to my H. I'm not rude, I am polite to them, I just don't go out of my way for them anymore.
I talk to my mom every month or so (she lives 3000 miles away) by phone. Probably less to my dad, and only then it's because one of us has a particular thing to check on (his typical phone convos are about 15 words total!). And my sister and I talk a couple times a month. I guess we aren't a super close family! I can't even imagine talking to my mom weekly, much less daily!!
My mother usually calls me every couple of days. I am a very slack with phone contact. Even my own sons who have moved away have to call me if they want to talk to me.
I usually only call if I have information I need to impart to someone, I don't call people just for chats.
I usually call my mom once a week. I have the same problem as you though. When I don't call, she doesn't seem to call for a couple of weeks or more. I think maybe it's because they are so used to you being the initiator, that time slips by, and they don't realize it.
I moved out (joined the Navy) when I was 17. For the first couple years I called my parents once or twice a week. Then I made sure to call them at least every Sunday. That went on until I was in my late 20s. I live 3000 miles away from them. After we started having kids I noticed that I would skip some Sundays. Those have gradually increased and I'd say I only talk to them once a month or so at this point, unless something important happens.
Two things have affected my calling frequency: Facebook and Facetime. Facebook because even if we don't talk all the time, we're still quite well aware of what is happening in each others lives because of Facebook. Facetime because now when we call it's almost always a video call. Both of my parents have iphones and so do my wife and I.
As a related side note, when I moved out I also used to go home for vacations at least twice a year. After I got married that was cut down to once a year. When the kids were born it was scaled back even further and I'll sometimes go 3 or 4 years without going home. Although if it goes that long, my parents will usually try to make a trip out here to see us (actually mostly to see the kids I suspect).
Oh, my wife's folks live closer to us (about a 5 hour drive away). So naturally we see them much more often. Probably 8 or 10 times a year including most holidays where either we drive there or they drive here. My wife talks to her mother on most days, every other day at the least. But every day if you include texting. Anything interesting happens and she's sending her mom a picture text of it.
My parents live a couple blocks away. Still, we don't necessarily see each other daily. We do talk/text nearly everyday tho. As for hubby's mom... not very often. We had a falling out with her a couple years ago and we are still not quite to the point where we want to speak with her very often. I follow hubby's cues on that one tho...
Parents live on the other side of the country. Talk to Mama Hearts on average about every 3 weeks - sometimes more time passes, sometimes we'll talk weekly, but about every 3 weeks is standard. We usually have a good catch up for about an hour or two. We also email each other short notes in between. I guess the ratio of who initiates contact is fairly even. It probably sways more to her contacting me though. I talk to Papa Hearts every couple of months/once a month, and they are short friendly conversations that last about 10minutes. Fairly mutually initiated.
My grandpa died when I was 18... saddest day of my life My Dad had an affair on my Mom after 30 plus years together. His gf has 2 boys (grown) and my Dad has my brother (also grown). He really doesn't need "girls"... His loss I reckon..
How often do you talk to family? 
