| Goldmember357 said: Most people should not marry because they are to narcissistic, self centered, childish and not aware of their own feelings in addition there own blindness prevents them from seeing who it is that they are dating/married to! This will ultimately lead to failure unless they have a consummate love.
Did it occur to you that perhaps you are in the lucky percentile and that you are likely of high intelligence and or a sound decision maker?. Very likely ( i assume) you are a planner you are optimistic and you likely have a man who shares the similar characteristics. If your marriage is how you say it is than one's premise could be that you have a "consummate love" the "true love" you have commitment, intimacy and passion. If a couple ever has all 3 parts you have the "true love" and your love will never die.
Me & my husband were never the partying type, we were "planners" from the very beginning... had our feet on the ground, we saved our $$, worked hard, accually one could say we were pretty BORING in our teens-early 20's, our heads were in our future together -how exactly to build that "firm foundation"...so as the years progressed, it would get easier...and this is pretty much how it has played out for us.... Much sacrifce in the early years.... but we had LOVE at every turn.. I couldn't say we ever fit in with the normal crowd in High school --because we were both very mature minded...while others were just "living it up" / living in the moment.
I'd say our Wildest time... having some of that FUN we might have missed in our teens ...was in our 40's.. but yet, we still did it all together -hand in hand.
Now that we have our own kids growing up... a similar age as we met (me -15, him -18)...we can see how they are following in our footsteps. Just very responsible Teens... with a good head on their shoulders. Our 2nd son tells us he doesn't fit in with alot of kids his age ...he complains the majority are "I..D..I..O..T..S"....makes me laugh sometimes. We so enjoy the friends our 2 boys bring home though, generally the Good kids, the smart ones.
Our 2nd son has a GF at 15, going on almost a yr now, both are very sound minded, I have a feeling it really could "last" for them - reminds us so much of ourselves at that age , Her dad loves our son- even encourages their relationship -- we love her. We do moniter them though.
Honestly, we've never felt "DOOM"... we both felt we "enhanced" the others life....I know it Helps we are both the "Hopeless Romantic "
type (rarely do people mention this but I believe this plays a role in how we view LOVE, intimacy,
keeping those romantic Fires burning)....they say people like this are higher in vasopressin & oxytocin (the cuddle chemical).
We shared the same dreams, beliefs, goals, our love languages in sinc (time & touch on top for both of us)....We've always been each others best friend.
We are both Givers...we almost have a need
to "give" ... but of course we want to recieve too! We enjoy the sharing, to have someone to hold every night, wake up to every morning, come home too after work, this is BLISS for us...we crave the togetherness...(I told my husband this a # of times, he is the only person who doesn't get on my nerves after spending tons of time together -and he says the same about me...we just "fit") ...we both wanted a larger family, we are both Homebodies... We've never taken a vacation without the other, wouldn't even want too -we'd miss the other!
He was never the type to hang with the guys, which I have appreciated. I never wanted a man like that. I run to him over my girlfriends if I need to talk, he prefers it this way, amazing listener. Some men might find that a pain in the a$$... not mine.
When we met, his friends became my friends, my friends became his friends...And communication...it's E V E R Y T H I N G . We still have some conflict now & then but our issues have always been on a smaller scale, and we never let the sun go down on our anger...
After we married, I recall us having a conversation.... we couldn't understand WHY so many people always say it gets worse, all goes downhill after you marry...cause for us... we felt it just got BETTER... I'd say our love in our 40's has been the most passionate yet.
I am not trying to paint a brighter picture than it was either... truly this IS how we felt. Of course we made some mistakes along the way - who doesn't ! We had a few hardships come upon us (yrs of Secondary infertility)...in hindsight we can see where we both could have handled some things differently during that time. Then we had another 5 kids in 10 yrs (but this is what we wanted
so not complaining)....I took my husband "for granted" for a time, too much into the babies one after the other....but even in that, he was still my best friend, my lover, the one I ran too always. Every love song on the radio, it is him I thought of, our life together.
So even in our dryer times..... we've never wanted another, questioned who we married, or wanted to run away -feeling we would have been better alone, or with another.
We'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.
We dread the day our "Fairy tale" ends.. this has literally brought tears to our eyes- just talking about it...My husband is a very sensitive man, but I love that! Life is just a vapor. We're here, then we are gone, enjoy it for all you can, and whatever you do, find someone compatible to share the ride with.
My Thread down below is what I plan to teach every one of my children about Life, Love & Harmony within a marraige -finding a partner that accually enjoys you & compliments our personality is HUGE HUGE HUGE, and never forget physical attraction --it is like the glue. This is our best shot at lasting happiness...