08-22-2012, 05:33 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
| | Re: How to handle husbands insecurity
Originally Posted by Dad&Hubby
Insecurities are a much too complex issue for here. For some men, they can come and go, others never feel them and others are constantly battling it.
My wife and I have recently been dealing with my insecurities peaking about 8 weeks ago. I came to realize, through some counseling, that it was a two fold issue for me. I turned 40 this year and wasn't happy with myself. The other end of it was my wife had been much more snappy with me over the last year or so and, without ever realizing it, my main way of receiving love is through verbal affirmation (second is physical touch). Basically my "love tank" had run dry (not because my wife didn't express A LOT of love to me, but because the area where I get the most security in our relationship kept getting dashed). Realizing this and addressing the turning 40 issue at my end, and my wife learning to control her "instant" frustration responses, I'm a much more comfortable man and my confidence has returned. I'm still working on it, it's not "fixed" per se, but it's getting there.
Your husband was wrong to say "it's a you issue". A spouse's security level, quite often but not always, can be a reflection of the current status of the relationship which requires work by both sides.
TY Dad&Hubby, I think that my husband is kind of having a mid life crises of sorts or something to that effect. I just do not know how to deal with it because his insecurities keep triggering mine. So then we go back and forth. UGH!