Personality change after vasectomy - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

User Tag List

 17Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 36 (permalink) Old 08-27-2012, 02:59 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Uk
Posts: 12
Re: Personality change after vasectomy

I do wonder that because he is getting older too and seems to be having some sort of crisis.

Sherlock is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #17 of 36 (permalink) Old 05-18-2016, 05:54 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 2
My vasectomy changed me completely and destroyed my marriage. I have developed debilitating chronic pain. I am bitter about it. Anyone who says this can't happen is in denial. It's well documented a significant percentage of men end up with chronic scrotal pain/PVPS. You can send me a PM if you don't believe me. im happy to talk about it. It's 6:30 AM and I'm 8 1/2 years out laying in bed and the burning pain under my sack has started my day. I will drag my ass to work where sitting all day will hurt. I will spend much of the day wrestling with the pain and filled with stress and regret like I have for at least the last 8 years. The first three years post vas as the pain got worse and worse I did not link it to vasectomy. When my left testicle blew up like a balloon at year three I figured it out. I missed almost a year of work when sitting became unbearable and paid 8500 dollars for a reversal. The reversal took the pain from a daily 9 to a 1 but it has drifted back up to a 3-4 on the left. You bet your ass it has changed me. I was always the loving affectionate one. Now I'm bitter and withdrawn. My career is ruined because work hurts and I don't want to do it. We rarely have sex now and I struggle with anger because my wife started all this rolling by coming home and screaming at me about birth control one day. Said she did everything and was going to stop the pill and I'd have to use my hand or condoms or be cut off and what was I going to do about it? I even said then I was not sure about letting someone cut me down there and she screamed fine, she would get her tubes tied and had to do everything... she cut off any rational discussion with her tirade. I had just undergone a brutal job change and lost a parent that year and had been a bit needy and felt vulnerable that year so did it to please her. The operation was uneventful but within a year I could not sit without horrible discomfort and sleep became difficult. Night time erections would cause me intense burning pain and falling back asleep was almost impossible unless i took ibuprofen and sleeping pills. This was due to pain with involuntary sleep erections not mental stress. It was hellish. Ladies, if you love your husband's don't push them to get a vasectomy. Share the responsibility. Alternate if possible. It's not worth the risk of watching him die in front of you physically and mentally and losing a loving healthy marriage. Our lives are nightmares now.
BustofPallas is offline  
post #18 of 36 (permalink) Old 05-18-2016, 06:42 AM
Member
 
chillymorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,696
Re: Personality change after vasectomy

yep not letting anyone come close to mr willy with a sharp implement.

lots of mistakes in hospitals. tired doctors,new drs have to do one the first time do you want to be the first time a dr does a procedure.

risk does not outweigh the reward at least not for me.
lots of way to have sex with out getting pregnant. more oral, using your hands, anal, condoms, toys, be creative.

People survived concentration camps, earthquakes,tornados,war, etc,etc. Now no matter whar your going through its survivable!
chillymorn is offline  
 
post #19 of 36 (permalink) Old 05-18-2016, 07:26 AM
Member
 
snerg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 426
Re: Personality change after vasectomy

Quote:
Originally Posted by BustofPallas View Post
My vasectomy changed me completely and destroyed my marriage. I have developed debilitating chronic pain. I am bitter about it. Anyone who says this can't happen is in denial. It's well documented a significant percentage of men end up with chronic scrotal pain/PVPS. You can send me a PM if you don't believe me. im happy to talk about it. It's 6:30 AM and I'm 8 1/2 years out laying in bed and the burning pain under my sack has started my day. I will drag my ass to work where sitting all day will hurt. I will spend much of the day wrestling with the pain and filled with stress and regret like I have for at least the last 8 years. The first three years post vas as the pain got worse and worse I did not link it to vasectomy. When my left testicle blew up like a balloon at year three I figured it out. I missed almost a year of work when sitting became unbearable and paid 8500 dollars for a reversal. The reversal took the pain from a daily 9 to a 1 but it has drifted back up to a 3-4 on the left. You bet your ass it has changed me. I was always the loving affectionate one. Now I'm bitter and withdrawn. My career is ruined because work hurts and I don't want to do it. We rarely have sex now and I struggle with anger because my wife started all this rolling by coming home and screaming at me about birth control one day. Said she did everything and was going to stop the pill and I'd have to use my hand or condoms or be cut off and what was I going to do about it? I even said then I was not sure about letting someone cut me down there and she screamed fine, she would get her tubes tied and had to do everything... she cut off any rational discussion with her tirade. I had just undergone a brutal job change and lost a parent that year and had been a bit needy and felt vulnerable that year so did it to please her. The operation was uneventful but within a year I could not sit without horrible discomfort and sleep became difficult. Night time erections would cause me intense burning pain and falling back asleep was almost impossible unless i took ibuprofen and sleeping pills. This was due to pain with involuntary sleep erections not mental stress. It was hellish. Ladies, if you love your husband's don't push them to get a vasectomy. Share the responsibility. Alternate if possible. It's not worth the risk of watching him die in front of you physically and mentally and losing a loving healthy marriage. Our lives are nightmares now.
Dumb question, if you had pain, why not go back and get it corrected?

Your description actually sounds like you have torsion of some type going on or perhaps compression going on. For those of us where the boys swing low, you need to wear compression underwear to keep the boys from wondering out and then ending up under a leg when you sit down. Same thing can occur when night time erections happen.

I know for some there are other issues, but mine were the boys swinging way lower due to being cut and then me sitting on one by accident or stepping and one would be in the wrong spot at the right time and get mushed.

Great site for anyone looking for info on vasectomy
Research into vasectomy

We protect ourselves from lies,
By fanatically holding to our own truths.
But when our truths turn to fanaticism,
Our truths become the Lie.
snerg is online now  
post #20 of 36 (permalink) Old 05-18-2016, 09:04 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,153
Re: Personality change after vasectomy

Quote:
Originally Posted by hotdogs View Post
I've heard of this before. I knew a guy online that had one and his sex drive went to zero.
Once the "we don't want you to get pregnant" excuse went away, he had to think of something else.
MachoMcCoy is offline  
post #21 of 36 (permalink) Old 05-18-2016, 09:35 AM
Forum Supporter
 
TX-SC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,650
Re: Personality change after vasectomy

My vasectomy was painful at the time but successful and with no side affects. It didn't change my personality at all.

"You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind!" Victor Von Frankenstein
TX-SC is online now  
post #22 of 36 (permalink) Old 05-18-2016, 11:00 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,559
Re: Personality change after vasectomy

Is it possible he was prescribed some pain medicine and has since become addicted? Just a thought.
Cooper is offline  
post #23 of 36 (permalink) Old 05-18-2016, 11:04 AM
Member
 
marduk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 7,490
Re: Personality change after vasectomy

I have a buddy that went through the bad painful stuff after getting snipped. It happens. Do your research, find a reputable Doctor, and do it in the hospital.

That being said, he went back and it's been corrected and the pain is gone.
marduk is offline  
post #24 of 36 (permalink) Old 05-18-2016, 11:15 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 542
Re: Personality change after vasectomy

This is terrifying. I always thought my husband was selfish for refusing to consider it, but now I'm glad he never did it - too much risk for me, even if the risk is small.
RainbowBrite is offline  
post #25 of 36 (permalink) Old 05-18-2016, 11:49 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 2
I did go back to urologists. I've seen at least 15 urologists since this started. Probably closer to 20. Most of them were clueless and useless. Not one said to me that this is due to your vasectomy. LOL, You dont think I've been trying to fix this since it started? I dont have torsion. I dont have the Bell clapper deformity. I never had one problem with my balls or scrotum. until I got a vasectomy. I started wearing tighter briefs at about year three for support and to this day post reversal wear 2 pairs daily. One more snug bikini type brief for support and boxer briefs over that because I'm not a bikini brief kind of guy. It's a huge pain in the ass. The problem is once you have nerve damage and scar tissue in you spermatic cord your therapy options are limited. There is reversal, denervation, orchiectomy, and medication. Reversal helped me tremendously. I can at least sleep now. The point I'm trying to make is a bad vasectomy outcome can cause chronic unyreatable pain and it will change a guy and take a toll on a relationship. It can ruin your life. I don't think men or women should rush to get surgically sterilized if it's not necessary. My wife and I were not that fertile to begin with. I was 41 when I got my vasectomy. If I had used condoms for a few years or we had alternated between condoms and maybe an ID we just had a few years to go. Nothings worth the daily pain I have. I would get another operation in a heartbeat if I thought it would fix me. I have not found one guy though that has had a great outcome from denervation and in fact at least a few got worse or much worse and 2 have had a testicle removed. In other words, chronic pain in your scrotum from cutting and cautery is not easily fixed.

BustofPallas is offline  
post #26 of 36 (permalink) Old 05-18-2016, 11:56 AM
Forum Supporter
 
arbitrator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Texas/Brazos Valley
Posts: 11,662
Re: Personality change after vasectomy

My personality was just as warped pre-vasectomy as it is now!
Posted via Mobile Device

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
arbitrator is offline  
post #27 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 08:11 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 2
This is an old post but still a relevant subject matter. I had a vasectomy almost two years ago with minimal pain. The procedure really wasn't a big deal and I was out in 30 minute. Things were life as usual until day 5 after the procedure when I woke up with a pulsing headache.

I have had a similar personality change that was mentioned by the OP. The best way to describe it is minimal patience with a side of depression. I snap at any little issue. Most days it's hard to keep it together.

I post this because I'm making progress towards figuring out the problem. If you do a quick google search, you will notice 4-5 similar postings outlining the same post vas symptoms. Many urologists laugh this off as the "psychological toll of sterility," but my neurology team is finding it's much deeper.

Within weeks of my vasectomy I started having subtle changes in my vision. A close friend, an optometrist, did an exam and found papilladema. Combined with the headache, a spinal tap was ordered. My intracranial pressure was nearly 30, the norm being around. 23 months later and my number still hovers around 26. In three weeks I will be at the Mayo Clinic undergoing further testing.

I agree strongly that correlation isn't causation. However, there are many consistencies across the board for post vasectomy patients, one of which is a strong psychological impact. I can only help but wonder if more men, like myself, develop an elevated intracranial pressure after this procedure. Ironically, CSF pressure has strong ties to frontotemporal dementia, another diagnosis with a weak link to vasectomy.
choohooo is offline  
post #28 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 09:54 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 1,075
Re: Personality change after vasectomy

I'm getting a V this summer and these posts are giving me pause. Hmmm.
GuyInColorado is offline  
post #29 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 10:41 PM
Forum Supporter
 
Emerging Buddhist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: World-wide
Posts: 1,448
Re: Personality change after vasectomy

I had mine done in Long Beach Naval Hospital... the doctor and the corpsman who assisted were both Gulf War Vets and it was a very simple thing. As the local was about to be given the doctor said "You know where I have to stick this so you will feel a little pinch". I said "you mean a little prick"? He responded "We really don't like to use that term in this office" as we all cracked up until the shot, and then it wasn't so funny but it was only a moment of discomfort and a bad joke.

I think the worst part was smelling the cauterization... did I tell you about the joke?

I can't remember...



j/k... it was nothing, you'll be fine.

नमस्ते 🙏

Last edited by Emerging Buddhist; 03-23-2017 at 10:42 PM. Reason: Mindful teasing...
Emerging Buddhist is offline  
post #30 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 12:39 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Ontario
Posts: 26
Re: Personality change after vasectomy

My husband had a vasectomy after our 3rd child and that was 13 years ago. Needless to say all sex has stopped. It has been almost 5 years since we had sex and before that it was 4 times with me being the instigator. I have been devastated by it as I am very willing and able and love sex. We have talked about it and gone to therapy and he still doesn't know why it is this way. He says he loves me and is still interested in me and other than that everything is great in our relationship! I know he had said at the time that he felt like he wasn't a man. No more bullets in the gun and I believe he felt that defined him. He says it doesn't work. If I had known this was going to be the result I would have gotten a hysterectomy. But, all 3 kids were born naturally so we didn't see why I should go through that long endearing pain when he can have it done and be good in a couple of days. He still masturbates though but not often. It is a mental thing for sure but now that he is in his early 50's it could also be age related at this point but I wouldn't know how to tell. We have been married 17 years and together 22 years. Even when I get hit on it doesn't help. I don't get it either.

Maybe some points I made may help. I know my husband had a real hard time talking about until we did see a therapist. Easier to talk about it now but still no result. I am in a "I don't know what to do" too.

If you two could get some therapy and get him to open up and talk, it may help with time. Good luck! Let us know if anything helps or changes.
BlueandBlond is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
When did you men have your first sex after your vasectomy? I'mInLoveWithMyHubby The Men's Clubhouse 36 08-31-2012 05:17 PM
Does vasectomy change hormones released during sex? Dadof3greatkids The Men's Clubhouse 7 08-07-2012 09:38 PM
Can you change a personality or who you are? SLRLeann Considering Divorce or Separation 5 08-05-2011 11:30 AM
any men here have a vasectomy? GAsoccerman Sex in Marriage 8 11-21-2010 03:06 PM
Vasectomy ! humpty dumpty The Men's Clubhouse 40 11-27-2009 04:49 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome