So hurt

Hello everyone, I feel so sad, devastated and betrayed by my wife's decision and it breaks my heart to post this but any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I have been married to my wife for 6 years and know each other for about 8 years. We are both the same age (28). She is from Mexico and she entered the country illegally before we met. After a few months of dating, we weren't careful about protection and well she got pregnant. She was paranoid at the idea of her family finding out about her pregnancy and begged and pleaded for me to marry her. I didn't want to at the time but she kept insisting and I eventually gave in and said yes. We've had our ups and downs just like any other marriage but things got really bad when I lost my job. She's always been a stay at home mom so we both thought that it may be a good idea to switch roles and have her work so she can get out of the house for a little bit. I took care of our son while she worked but after about 2 weeks of her working I noticed her becoming distant and then I noticed the text message activity she would do in front of me which I thought was suspicious. Well eventually came to find out that she was talking to another guy she met at work and it got to the point that she admitted that she cheated on me. This obviously devasted me but I loved her so much that I was willing to forgive because I just couldn't imagine our son not being with his mom and dad together. Well we eventually reconciled but she decided that she wanted to go back to Mexico because she missed her family and thought that this may be the only way to salvage the marriage according to her. Well I agreed and we both left to Mexico with our son to stay at her parents place.

Well we spent a few months there since we had some money saved up but eventually money was running low and I had to go back with our son because he had to start school soon. She couldn't return with us because she was she didn't have legal status to return so I applied for the I-130 Visa for fiances and spouses and told her that in 6-8 months tops she would get her Visa and we would be together again. I bought two ipods and left one for her so that we can talk and see each other on facetime. I also gave her a google voice number so she could call me at anytime. We called and talked everyday. Well her Visa was approved for the first step about a month ago and we were both so excited and happy and all that was left to do was to wait for a interview date and package that would be mailed in the next 30 days and once she goes to the interview she would get her Visa right then and there and can return to the U.S.

Well about 3 weeks ago she all of a sudden did a complete 180 and went from being happy and excited about the VISA to being completely indifferent and not caring at all about returning. She started hanging out more and more with her younger sister who is 20 years old a cousin who is 17 years old and they have been hanging out all day everyday for the past month. Her sudden change in behavior has gotten so bad that she doesn't even care to speak to her son. I have begged and pleaded with her about the Visa and how she is making a big mistake but she ended up telling me that she doesn't love me anymore and she doesn't care about the Visa. This whole time I have been so supportive of her, sending her money every paycheck and calling each other everyday mutliples times a day so she can see her son but now she doesn't even care about that. What happened??? The only explanation I can give myself is that she is talking to somebody over there and she is getting terrible advice from her sister and family. I am so hurt right now. Sorry for making this so long but I am devastated that I did everything I possibly could for her and now she just dumps me like trash and now even her son has fallen victim to her selfishness. I want to be strong and indifferent just like her so I can move on. My son is the most important thing to me and I have taken care of him this whole time and that is the best thing that God and life has given me. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

A Bit Much

I'm sorry she put you through this. As much as it hurts you have to move on and take care of your son alone. She's not interested in being with you or being a good mom and really with her track record, she's better off staying away from him. She needs to grow up a bit still.

So hurt

Thanks A Bit Much.

I totally agree with you and right now my focus is my son and being there for him since I can't count on her coming back anymore. Which is what has me so confused. How could anyone especially a mother put herself over her own family especially her own son just because she wants to be around and be like a teenager. Even when she calls to speak with our son which is like once a week, she's always with her sister and her cousin. It's like they're attached to the hip and they even sleep together in the same room and God only knows what they talk about and do. I just want to stop loving her just like she did me. I don't want to feel like this anymore, it's torture. I think about her all the time. Even when I wake up the first thing I think about is her. How can I do that, I know that's the million dollar question.

A Bit Much

One day at a time. Physically she isn't there and that helps out a whole lot. It would be harder if she was closer or living with you to let her go.

IDK how a woman can have a kid and then walk away from them. All I can say about that is that it takes all kinds. She's a cold woman to turn her back, and maybe when she grows up she'll regret her actions. Maybe that will never happen. Either way, its you and him now. Be the best Dad you can be.