General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
What are your expectations from your partner in your relationship?
I see so many people say they expect this or that form their partner, and then when that person doesn't meet that expectation they get upset.
Example, some people have the expectation their partner should remain physically fit and maintain a decent weight. Some people have said they don't have any expectations, so if something happens they are not disappointed. I can see that to a degree, BUT I think we all need to have some kind of expectations in a relationship. Even in a family with kids there should be some kind of expectations.
Maybe some people's expectations are unrealistic too.
I expect honesty, kindness, and a team approach. Anything else can change but if we approach the topic honestly, kindly and together, we can resolve it. Health, sex, jobs, family... all of it.
Oh, and if I don't get honesty, I would expect a team approach to our relationship where we go to counseling to help open the doors of communication.
If I don't get kindness (he is, though, but if that changed...) or the team approach to life's challenges then I would honestly tell him I need that to feel loved and secure.
If none of those changed, that would become a problem. Everything else can be worked through with the top 3, though.
I expect honesty, kindness, and a team approach. Anything else can change but if we approach the topic honestly, kindly and together, we can resolve it. Health, sex, jobs, family... all of it.
....i would also add a general positivity towards things is important. Posted via Mobile Device
I want a partner who thinks about me and us when she makes a decision. I need someone who has my back, lets me have hers, and will look to do things that make my life and our life better together.
Examples: I "expect" my wife to remain faithful. (Does it mean she will, no) So all I can really do is "hope" that she will remain faithful. If she doesn't, then there is the door.
Another example: I "expect" my kids to show respect to their mother, myself and others. (does it mean the always will, no) So far so good!
I would "hope" they always do. If not, time to get to the bottom of whats going on.
I expect honesty and fidelity - there will be no more chances in that regard. I expect affection and sex. I expect him to contribute financially and with deeds to the running of the household. I expect him to work on bettering himself and our marriage through the years. I expect recognition of milestones such as anniversaries and birthdays. I expect him not to let me down in any big way. And I expect that he expects all the same things from me.
Examples: I "expect" my wife to remain faithful. (Does it mean she will, no) So all I can really do is "hope" that she will remain faithful. If she doesn't, then there is the door.
Another example: I "expect" my kids to show respect to their mother, myself and others. (does it mean the always will, no) So far so good!
I would "hope" they always do. If not, time to get to the bottom of whats going on.
The word 'expect' insinuates a consequence if the expectation isn't met. The word 'hope' doesn't.
To have no expectations is to set the bar very low, indeed. To have only hope is too lax IMO...so I expect the truth, honesty, equality in decision making...I expect help or services when I ask for it, whether that's a backrub, cleaning the dishes, or cooking a meal. I expect to be treated well at all times; no exceptions. I expect a healthy physical/romantic/sex life...I expect to return all of the above to my partner as well.
The word 'expect' insinuates a consequence if the expectation isn't met. The word 'hope' doesn't.
The first thing I think of when I see the phrase "to have hope" is that I'd be leaving things too much to chance. Because we can't always have what we hope for, can we?
I have the basic expectations. I expect my spouse to be faithful to me from now on, to not beat me, and not to force himself on me. Those are my dealbreakers. Those would automatically result in a divorce from me.
Also, to a lesser effect, I expect my husband to spend time with his daughter. He does this, however, because he doesn't want to be like his father was.
__________________ Nothing is more noble, nothing more venerable than fidelity. Faithfulness and truth are the most sacred excellences and endowments of the human mind. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
Please do not turn my thread into who said what word and why one might be better the other. I don't care if its the word "expectation" or "hope" or any other is used. If trey used "hope" because thats how he sees it, fine! Its not a problem. Obviously the outcome of having consequences is the same!
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What are your expectations? 
