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Re: This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
Quote:
Quote of SimplyAmourus
This thread's original intention was never about the horrors of crimes against children but something completely consensual between adults. I see this as night & day, not even worthy to be breathed in the same sentence or context.
Quote of Maricha75
SA, in this case, anonym2 was saying to watch how you refer to this subject around children, or when you even THINK children are around.
Maricha did a very good job of condensing anonym2 excellent point. Howver, SA was spot on when she said
Quote:
This thread's original intention was never about the horrors of crimes against children but something completely consensual between adults.
I went back to the OP’s original comments and he said nothing about the horrors of crimes against children but specifically mention women that “.places a low value on sexual intimacy” See reprint of a section of the OP’s original thread below:
Quote:
Quote of falconKing
This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
________________________________________
It amazes me how this doesn't really seem to bother people. Somebody's past says a lot about a person. I don't want to be a with a woman who places a low value on sexual intimacy or someone any man can have if they "get her drunk enough."
SA, I may not always agree with everything you say but you write very well and I hope that you do not delete any of your posts.
Re: This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
Originally Posted by CandieGirl
Thanks, SW! It's nice to be understood...and I might add that sometimes, someone's LACK of sexual history matters as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by southern wife
I'd rather have a man that knows the female body and how it works rather than someone that does not!
Sorry ladies that sounds a bit mean, I'm sure you didn't mean it that way.
Perhaps while you were exploring your bodies and the bodies of the (I assume)hot guys (not judging you you'll see why at end) there was someone like me who couldn't get laid for all the tea in china. I was ugly, shy and nerdy, always had my head buried in a book or studying. The more I tried the less it seemed likely to happen. I was desperate for sex up until my early to mid twenties but then I just gave up I 'realised' it wasn't going to happen. However from my twenties I started to fill out, I became less 'plain' still no oil painting but presentable.
My studying paid off, I am now employed at a good wage at an airport where I repair and maintain the nav-aids around the airfield, RADAR, DME, DVOR, HRDF, LOCALISER, GLIDE PATH etc.
I met my wife in my late twenties, we hit it off straight away.
Now the thing is she had an early sex life somewhat like yours but it didn't worry me, it was (and is) her I love, not her past although her past is part of her. She did not mind my virginity at all and still says to this day that she finds it quite nice that she is the only person I have ever made love to. She calls it 'our thing'.
I can also assure you that I learnt very fast, very very fast
I think I made up for lost time.
But from what you are saying you wouldn't have entertained a relationship with me because I was a virgin.
So you find it ok for you to be p1ssed at people who judge you for your sexual past (and FWIW I agree with you) but later on you seem able to judge other people for their lack of experience, double standards?
And BTW my wife assures me that (depite initial problems with me being a bit quick off the mark) I am the best lover she has ever had, multiple orgasms, adventuresness etc. She also thinks I'm hot, I did post a pic under my 'hair question' thread and a couple of the ladies said I wasn't bad at all so it just goes to show that some people are late bloomers.
Sorry didn't mean to go on such a rant, didn't mean to get all heavy on you.
Re: This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Blunt
Maricha did a very good job of condensing anonym2 excellent point. Howver, SA was spot on when she said
I went back to the OP’s original comments and he said nothing about the horrors of crimes against children but specifically mention women that “.places a low value on sexual intimacy” See reprint of a section of the OP’s original thread below:
SA, I may not always agree with everything you say but you write very well and I hope that you do not delete any of your posts.
Mr. Blunt, I nor anyone else said this thread was about sexual abuse, but it also wasn't about sexual purity, which if I am not mistaken, was what SA/someone else brought into this thread. Thus why I was asking, if molestation and rape make someone unpure. Had she/someone else not brought that up, I wouldn't have either, but that is part of discussion; sometimes it leads us on all different roads.
What is sad though, is that when I was explaining why it is important not to talk about sexual purity in front of a child (and even some adults as far as that goes) who would not understand that, SA claims that she is going to take her ball and go home.
Part of being an adult is facing challenges even if those challenges make you uncomfortable, go against your religious beliefs, are totally opposite of our own, corrective, or dire warnings.
If all of us did took our ball and went home when we are faced with challenges to our belief system, then we wouldn't learn any better and we would live in a very arrogant world because everyone would think that they already knew something that they could not know, because they haven't had the experiences of others.
It really isn't worth getting all upset about and it isn't worth taking posts down for. I have said twice that I KNOW that was not her intentions and no one has accused her of shaming her children, so I do not even know where that is coming from.
I wasn't offended by anyone's posts and I hope not to offend anyone by my posts. I do like to push the limits on discussions though because it expands the mind, mine and anyone else's who takes part. If we only discuss things that make us feel comfortable with and never face opposing views, we would be a boring bunch of people with huge ego's.
Re: This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caribbean Man
NEVER compromise your beliefs and values to please anybody.
PERIOD.
Reminds me of my culture's rule - to never bow, to never kneel. (And yes, we have problems with the Japanese - culture shock!) lol
Our hand on our hearts and a nod, that means a lot with just that. But to bend to the whims of our surroundings, that is not our way, that is the way of SLAVES
Ancient superstitions sure, but some traditions have to be upheld as it applies to the modern world.
Re: This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Blunt
Quote of SimplyAmourus
This thread's original intention was never about the horrors of crimes against children but something completely consensual between adults. I see this as night & day, not even worthy to be breathed in the same sentence or context.
Quote of Maricha75
SA, in this case, anonym2 was saying to watch how you refer to this subject around children, or when you even THINK children are around.
I agre with anony2 and Maricha on this but I would extend it to adults.
The Mental damage incurred via sexual abuse is not automatically repaired upon reaching the age of eighteen.
Some people that were sexually abused (child and adult alike) have their self esteem negatively impacted by members of society who say things like "she deserved it" or "she was asking for it (by wearing a mini skirt, hanging out with boys, etc) or that she (or he) is worth less because of what happened to them.
Qualifying a person as impure is such a thing.
Maricha did a very good job of condensing anonym2 excellent point. Howver, SA was spot on when she said
This thread's original intention was never about the horrors of crimes against children but something completely consensual between adults.
The thing is they ARE related. One DOES often lead to the other. It is not unforeseeable or unreasonable that a discussion about one may lead to the other.
I went back to the OP’s original comments and he said nothing about the horrors of crimes against children but specifically mention women that “.places a low value on sexual intimacy” See reprint of a section of the OP’s original thread below:
Quote of falconKing
This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
________________________________________
It amazes me how this doesn't really seem to bother people. Somebody's past says a lot about a person. I don't want to be a with a woman who places a low value on sexual intimacy or someone any man can have if they "get her drunk enough."
So many people make this judgement but so few try to see the causes. I wish more would try, because many people are happy to take advantage of people with low sexual intimacy and then turn and judge them after they have had their fill.
SA, I may not always agree with everything you say but you write very well and I hope that you do not delete any of your posts.
Re: This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
Quote:
Quote of Anonym2
Mr. Blunt, I nor anyone else said this thread was about sexual abuse, but it also wasn't about sexual purity, which if I am not mistaken, was what SA/someone else brought into this thread. Thus why I was asking, if molestation and rape make someone unpure. Had she/someone else not brought that up, I wouldn't have either, but that is part of discussion; sometimes it leads us on all different roads.
Anonym2
I was the one that brought sexual purity into the thread not SA. Here below are my actual words reprinted from post 325
Quote:
Keeps themselves pure before marriage
You were raped and molested as a child and you are very sensitive about someone saying that you are sexually impure because of that rape.
My post did not have your situation in mind at all. There was no way that you could have stopped or KEPT yourself from the sexual violation against you. If my post still bothers you then I will take it down and will apologize to you for me not considering your situation; I was not even thinking about rape or molestation but more about what the OP stated in this thread’s original post. He said ("I don't want to be a with a woman who places a low value on sexual intimacy") that woman is no where in the same universe as your situation
I hope that you see that I was not trying to degrade you in any way. If you do not see that then I am ready to take my posts that offends you off this forum because my discussion on this matter is not as important as your point of view. I tried to convey that you were totally innocent by my post # 535 when I said to you
Quote:
So know and ACCEPT it within yourself that a terrible thing was done to you as child and you are TOTALLY INOCENT
I obviously failed to covey to you that it was not your fault, you are totally innocent, and that what was done to you was pure evil.
I can only apologize to you and hope that you accept my sincere regret.
Tell me which posts of mine you want me to take down. Your feelings are more important than me expressing my view about a certain subject.
Mr Blunt
PS
This situation with you being molested as a child is way too sensitive to be arguing about. How about we think about all of us calling for a truce on this? I know that you are a bit upset with Simply Amorous but she did say that you are “Spiritually pure” so how about we all forgive on this issue? We can go at each other on another issue but this one is just too sensitive and too close to the heart.
I am not SA’s spokes person but what I have read from her posts, she and you seem like good women so no use us holding any grudges. Let’s start over.
Re: This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Blunt
PS
This situation with you being molested as a child is way too sensitive to be arguing about. How about we think about all of us calling for a truce on this? I know that you are a bit upset with Simply Amorous but she did say that you are “Spiritually pure” so how about we all forgive on this issue? We can go at each other on another issue but this one is just too sensitive and too close to the heart.
I am not SA’s spokes person but what I have read from her posts, she and you seem like good women so no use us holding any grudges. Let’s start over.[/COLOR]
Mr Blunt, what I was saying, is there is no argument, just different perspectives.
Re: This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
Quote:
Quote of falconKing
This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
________________________________________
It amazes me how this doesn't really seem to bother people. Somebody's past says a lot about a person. I don't want to be a with a woman who places a low value on sexual intimacy or someone any man can have if they "get her drunk enough."
So many people make this judgement but so few try to see the causes. I wish more would try, because many people are happy to take advantage of people with low sexual intimacy and then turn and judge them after they have had their fill.
Well some people engage in this kind of lifestyle, whether the cause is known or not. Some people have no issues with this and think there is no problem. So what am I supposed to do? Try to "save" her and be her white knight? Or be accepting of something that gives me issues in trust? How about I just avoid it. The cause as I believe I mentioned in my original post is that her father was abusive and controlling. But I can add more since if I don't write a discertation people will continue to derail. My EX-gf father beat up her mother, her and her brother. He was controlling and narcissistic. When she escaped by going to college she indulged herself in a high number of sexual partners, drugs and alcohol. She had drunken sex on the concrete at some party and got pregnant for some guy who was as unstable as she was. They did very horrible things throughout their marriage to each other. She had about 7 miscarriages. After her divorce she would seek men that weren't emotionally available. I tried to be that and she panicked.
I'm almost as tired as SA. Some of you respond on this thread similar to as if someone accidentally bumps into you and you turning around and punching them in the mouth. I think she is frustrated because she is very open and some posters are criticizing things about her personally. Because they took it personally when nobody was even talking about them. Also when she tried to understand some of the other points of views that didnt seem to be good enough. Hence what I have felt for a while that some people are just arguing for the sake of it. Some of you guys really want to see blood. Or tear down the "good girl." Perhaps to relive some high school fantasy of beating up some prudish girl with glasses and no make up who you felt was judging you just by the way she looked at you. And as I said before....alot...many times...EVERYONE past matters no what they have done IMO. Guess what? That means causes too! But if you were sexually abused and now have had unhealthy relationships, but all I know about is the unhealthy relationships... Dont flip out on me if you dont tell me certain things about yourself. I cant understand what I do not know. Thats more of an issue with communication. Which is apparently something some of us still struggle with.
Men only wanting virgins, this thread being a subtle attack on women, people are hypocrites, sexual abuse, being offended because you had a high number of partners.....STOP THE MADNESS PEOPLE. This thread topic wasnt about any of that. Some of you have a sore spot for those issues and want to get some things off your chest. So are you trying to drag the thread over these land mines so you have a reason to detonate.
Re: This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
Number is just a number to me. Just because you have had sex with a lot of people doesn't mean anything, in my opinion.
Past is past. Just like saying that if some one was beaten up by a partner that says a lot about them also. If they haven't been unfaithful in the relationship, then what is the big deal?? It shouldn't matter how many people she or he has slept with.. Now if the number is really high then yeah.
How many should one sleep with before marriage??
My husband hasn't asked me,That i can remember, if he has then i told him the number it is no big secret. It doesn't mean anything.
I wasn't a wh*re and I wasn't a virgin.
I also cheated on an off and on boyfriend (off and on for 4 years) who would beat the crap out of me and fvck anything that walked!
I am going to test drive something before i buy it!
Re: This is why I say a persons sexual history matters.
from what posts I have read from SA she seems to be talking about herself and what she wants not making a attack or judgment on others who don't have the same view as her
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Re: This is why I say a persons sexual history matters. 
I'd rather have a man that knows the female body and how it works rather than someone that does not! 
. The cause as I believe I mentioned in my original post is that her father was abusive and controlling. But I can add more since if I don't write a discertation people will continue to derail. My EX-gf father beat up her mother, her and her brother. He was controlling and narcissistic. When she escaped by going to college she indulged herself in a high number of sexual partners, drugs and alcohol. She had drunken sex on the concrete at some party and got pregnant for some guy who was as unstable as she was. They did very horrible things throughout their marriage to each other. She had about 7 miscarriages. After her divorce she would seek men that weren't emotionally available. I tried to be that and she panicked. 
