wifeandmommyof2

I found text from someone else on my husbands phone. There were no message back to this person but they knew he was married and some of the messages were nude pics. He says he didn't say anything but that is very hard to believe. Our marriage hasn't been that great for over a year. I feel like im the only one trying. Well since the messages 2 weeks ago he doesn't talk to me much and we argue all the time. He got mad today and grabbed my wrist. I dont understand were this is coming from. Shouldnt I be the one thats angry? I told him we can try to work this out but I can't live like this.

Shiksa

Set some boundaries on the physical part. That is NOT ok!!

Post in the coping with infidelity section for advice on how to deal with his cheating. They are great people who can help nip this in the bud.

TheMarriageandFamilyClini

sounds like he's doing something called 'being defensive' which is really common when cheaters are being accused of cheating. You ARE the one who should be mad. It's really common that the cheating spouse tries to turn it back around on the spouse in order to take themselves out of the spotlight.

Be assertive and demand an answer. If he doesn't give you one then that's really suspicious. If he won't give you a clear answer that usually means he's trying to hide something. You have some decisions to make after that: live with ambiguity and suspicion, move out, or go to a counselor and try to make it work.

His behaviors as you describe them are pretty textbook behaviors for a cheater.

__________________
Aaron I Anderson, M.S.
www.blog.themarriageandfamilyclinic.com