General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
My wife just SMSed me wondering what I was doing and I'm at home typing sh-t on TAM lol
She told me that I spend too much time on here but pffft, whatever. What you think? I'm thankful at least that she's no longer coming on and reading my threads (she knows she'll have a hell to deal with if she ever does - she'll lose the trust she busted her ass for years to establish)
Personally it's my venting/advice zone. I don't like to get my mates in RL involved as it causes problems as my wife and I's social circle is united (we don't befriend anyone that one of us has a problem with). But I spend too much time on here? Bah!
I don't know, how much time do you spend on here? Personally, I'd like to stop, but I fricken can't! I log on during the week, and usually keep it running in the background, just for something to do. I need a(nother) new hobby...
I don't know, how much time do you spend on here? Personally, I'd like to stop, but I fricken can't! I log on during the week, and usually keep it running in the background, just for something to do. I need a(nother) new hobby...
I agree with RD, tho, a good place to get it all out and vent. There are a lot of things I'd never talk about with a friend, especially the sex stuff. Plus I love a good debate every now and then.
All of us that post on TAM emotionaly invest in our posts and ideas. It is easy for it to begin to take too much of our available emotional energy. If it is to the point where your spouse notices it, then perhaps it is too much.
I made a jest a long time ago about having an EA with TAM. Now I see that it could really be the case... Even though I am an infrequent poster, I think I spend too much time on it at times.
yeah my W said something similar, I had lurked for couple of years starting in 2007/2008, didn't join till 2010 and I have to say TAM helped me D my ex in 2008. I told my current W that because of TAM I was able to selectively choose a great W.....that eased her a little bit
one day soon i will tell my story, it is definitely one for the books.....i'm in a very good place now and TAM had a lot to do with that.
It ebbs and flows with me. Sometimes I'm here a lot, and then I'll just drop off.
Honestly it becomes too much TAM for me when I just can't take the misery, and overall pessimistic view of marriage, that a lot of this board adopts. It begins to leak into my own happy marriage sometimes, and I begin wondering if there is truly something wrong with us. I got into a deep discussion with my wife last night based off a topic posted here, and she runs to my sister and says "that blog is going to destroy our marriage!" .
For my own sanity, sometimes I've got to step off TAM!
My husband isn't thrilled that I'm on here a lot either. He acknowledges that I'm a better wife because of it however I need to be doing other things besides wasting so much time here.
My marriage is fixed so TAM serves no purpose for me. I'm just addicted. LOL
My marriage is fixed so TAM serves no purpose for me. I'm just addicted. LOL
See, that was news to me when I first came here. I found TAM by looking up something to do with sex in marriage, not a problem, but some views. I've always loved discussing marriage, relationships, love, sex, the whole nine yards, so I thought I'd hit the jackpot.
It wasn't until I was here for a bit that I realized most people come to this forum because they have troubled marriages. Silly me took the name "talk about marriage" a bit to literally, and assumed many others were here because they just loved discussing the institution of marriage, and all the many intricacies contained therein.
I soon got the message when I noticed that the few threads I posted about asking people to talk about what they love about their spouses, and marriage, produced little more than crickets before dropping like stones.
See, that was news to me when I first came here. I found TAM by looking up something to do with sex in marriage, not a problem, but some views. I've always loved discussing marriage, relationships, love, sex, the whole nine yards, so I thought I'd hit the jackpot.
It wasn't until I was here for a bit that I realized most people come to this forum because they have troubled marriages. Silly me took the name "talk about marriage" a bit to literally, and assumed many others were here because they just loved discussing the institution of marriage, and all the many intricacies contained therein.
I soon got the message when I noticed that the few threads I posted about asking people to talk about what they love about their spouses, and marriage, produced little more than crickets before dropping like stones.
I had this same experience. I initially thought this place was for talking about our experiences and how to maintain good marriages thought the years, and thought maybe I could learn some things.
And then I got sucked into everyone's problems.
I still learn a lot, but I'm wondering if there's a forum out there that's more about keeping good marriages going.
33Likes
Too much TAM? 
............I'd say you're ok! 
I feel the same way.
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