Originally Posted by tforty185
We were talking a couple days ago and it turned into an argument. I said"honey, I might be depressed for a little while" so I asked him if he could support me and be copassionate. HE got mad and didn't want to deal with it.
You're H got mad because he doenst feel like he has a real choice in answering that question. If he says 'no' then you get upset. He loves you so he doesnt want to upset you, but at the same time its not something he's comfortable doing. so he feels trapped- hence the anger. you have every right to ask him to help you, but if you really loved him, you would allow him the option to say that he cant without punishing him by getting angry.
I only say that because my H and I go through this, too. My H is exactly like yours. He often doesnt talk to me because i am so emotional. at first i was angry at him because i thought he was just cut off from me, but then i realized that my actions were pushing him away.
You two are codependent, IMO. I think it would really help you to do boundary books and workbooks together. Dr.Phil has one called relationship rescue
and there's the one that my h and i do together called boundaries in marriage
by dr. cloud and townsend. that one is really religious based, though, so if you arent religious you will want to go with Dr. Phil.
You can do it on your own if your H doesnt want to do it with you. I started doing boundaries on my own. it has turned my relationship, and my own quality of life, around 180 degrees.