Wife's Midlife Crisis....what do i do?
Ok, where do i start. I have been married for 13 years. My wife and i have had a very loving relationship up until the last couple of years. She turned 40, and was vocally upset by getting "old" saying "i only have 10 years of looking good left". Since then she has changed her clothing some, had a boob job and tummy tuck, got collagen in her lips and face etc. Then she opened up a facebook account and started flirting openly. We have fought alot about that since she opened it. Since i have confronted her with the flirting, just just hid it all, and added an instant messenger to her account. She became "best friends" with a married male, and they have spent numerous hours on the phone, though she has recently said they dont talk much, there were times when they talked for alot (6 hours over two weeks). she has also lightly flirted with him in front of me. In the last year, she has been depressed, complaining alot about the daily "grind" of taking care of the kids, not getting out to do anything (she is a stay at home mom)--often saying that she is jealous of her friend who has a husband who doesnt care where she is, and no kids at home so her friend can do whatever she wants. Last year, she started texting a single guy, including on Xmas morning while I was playing with the kids and setting up their toys. I later confronted her over a conversation where her female best friend said "something is so going to happen between you two" (of the single man). She says that was nothing and i am just overly jealous and controlling. Yet, another warning sign, and she continued to text him for another few months. So, this year, in July, something snapped, we just stopped talking for a couple weeks, and when i confronted her, she laid into me about never loving her, and specifically saying that when we broke up (by letter--my bad) 15 years ago when we were dating, it really hurt her and now, after 13 years of marriage, she wants to separate. She refuses to see any counceling,or admit that this is a MLC, i tell her i love her and this is hearbreaking and she basically says she is sad, but needs to get away. I dont think she has any good reason so leave, but do have a theory. My theory is that she has been flirting on facebook, and the guys have been hitting on her alot, and she wants to live like she is 25 again. I represent nothing more than a boring life, and she wants more. I am not sure if she is/has cheated, but did notice two notes that she had: one was a grocery list with KY listed (im sure she will say it was some sort of moisture issue), and a gophone activation number (seems to be hiding communication again). I am contemplating just filing for divorce--I cant change the past, and after 13 years of a loving relationship, cant imagine any way to convince her that i do love her at this point. Advice?