Originally Posted by Another Planet View Post
Yep what is wrong with me, why can't I let MC happen? Maybe I am to selfish, I really really don't want to do anything else for her. So much resentment built up.
Now the cycle I have rode so many times has just reset to me blaming myself again. I am the problem not her.
You are both part of the problem, blaming yourself alone wont have any positive effect on your relationship. Maybe you're not so keen on marriage counseling because you think "she can't even fill out a stupid questionnaire to help our marriage, so why should I fork out the cash for MC when she clearly doesn't want to do anything to improve the marriage,".
However she may just be thinking, " I've said I feel MC could really benefit our marriage, why isn't he listening to me? Why does he keep pushing a questionnaire instead of seeing a professional to truly help our marriage."
Or maybe she says she'll only do MC because she thinks you will never book an appt. and when the marriage fails she can blame you for ending it.
This is all speculation of course. But what I'd like you to get out if my message is " just because you feel one way very strongly (like about the questionnaire helping things)
Doesn't mean she should have the same opinion as you. Or that you're more right than her.
I think marriage counseling could really help you to work out your issues in a more productive way than blaming each other and building more resentment in the process. Swallow your pride and make the call to a good MC. Even if she doesn't go, you can learn a lot about yourself and how to handle relationship issues in a more productive way.
You ever hear the old quote: Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.