Enginerd said : Some people avoid it like the plague and will resent the person who has the gall to tell them the truth.
I couldn't be "close friends" with too many like this....for me... they are too fragile ~ the egg shell people......though If I know I am in the presence of this type...I am careful to just be Mrs mannered & polite in every word, not to raise any eye brows.... you learn to feel people out, listen closely, a little body language ...how they interact, what they share about themselves...how much of their true selves they seem willing to expose... best to go with the flow. Those types aren't very FUN to be around in my opinion though, can't really let your hair down with them, lest worrying you may "offend" in some way.
Enginerd said : I only tell my wife she looks good when its true. Should I lie more ?
I wouldn't want my husband to say things just to appease me. I'd catch on anyway.... If we look close enough..we'd see that "look" in his eyes, actions following his words to how he feels in those moments.
How about cooking for example..... the other day he told me my oatmeal was like super glue getting it out of the pan...got me laughing... I wouldn't want him to compliment my cooking if he thought it sucked, he can tell me it looks like road kill & it's dry.... I know I am capable of a darn good meal, so if I have an off day, it's
.... If my clothes aren't the best, gaining a few lbs, hair needs some attention, whatever...he can tell me that too, we tend to express these things in a lighthearted fashion laced with some humor generally....that way....when I am looking GOOD & he expresses it - I know he really
means it...and THAT means the world to me.
In the past I used to wear what he calls Grandma Night gowns, he didn't make fun of me then...darn him... he should have - then maybe I would have had a clue he wanted me to put on something more enticing. He is more OPEN now than he used to be... wouldn't trade it for the world.. I'll take the good with the bad.
HopelesslyJaded said: I agree with being honest but I have really hurt people's feelings before by being honest. My husband especially. I don't like to lie.
Although I've been rough on my husband at times too-when I've been
or frustrated over something... he's told me he wouldn't change me...
Out & about...I have... however.... 1)
gotten some strange looks.... 2)
had to humble myself for stepping on some toes -a careless moment, then having to explain myself - generally this plays pretty easy for me....I've been able to pizz someone off & get them laughing in the next 5 minutes... 3)
I've opened myself to the judgement of others saying a little more than I should have around pious ears & afterwards thinking "will I ever learn?" - Husband generally gets a good
over this saying ...."what do you expect ? - & tells me they have a stick up their azz. Love him!! 4)
I've been told by a few of my friends I can be "Intimidating" - was more so in my youth....but I guess I've gotten "sweeter" over the years...a little less brash with my thoughts.
But at the end of the day...it IS a part of my personality..even my humor ... To take this away would be to deflate who I really am. So I think I'll stay the course, I have other faults for sure, but feeding a line of
ain't one of them. I've been told by a # of friends...what you see is what you get... and they LIKE that, there is a respect there...even if you do have to brace yourself at times. ha ha
My husband is just like me - except for 2 things... he will keep his mouth shut unless asked & give less of an answer (man of few words)... and I may open my mouth -because of the challenge even though I wasn't asked & say more than I need too. Oh well!
HopelesslyJaded said: In real life I just try not to engage in conversations that I know I will have an unpopular opinion on. But sometimes they just insist on asking.
This wouldn't stop me... Once I was around a Bonfire with a Disability activist..a friend of a friend.... he was an obnoxious character to begin with... the type that likes to throw his weight around a little.... I had enough gall to ask him his feelings on Jack Kevorkian... I just wanted to hear his thoughts, bring up some scenario.. .debate a little.. boy did that ever stir him up ! Then I had all these people there turning on me, thinking I was for killing babies... I took the fire, it was Ok, I'd do it again. It livened the conversation up anyway. At the end of the night, I was still liked.