Re: Husband spends most of his free time playing video game
I have to say that I think Frozen's answer is a pile of beans! Even presuming Frozen is right (which *I* think is ridiculous), then apparently because YOU didn't listen to H's important message and shattered his ego, he now gets to spend the rest of your lives on earth IGNORING you and sulking like a 3yo by hiding in his game world while he licks his wounds and punishes you. HORSESH!T! HE's a grown man, he should face his problems (and his shattered ego) like it.
Alright, like I said, pile of beans in my opinion!
You are full of resentment and may, in fact, be at the end of your marriage. You have already moved through the anger stage to the stage where you feel nothing. This is usually the place where people decide to cut their losses because they have no more emotions (good or bad) to invest in their marriages.
Your H is hiding from you, from your marriage, from his life. It's not going to work! The games are VERY addicting because like too much of anything (TV, porn, drinking, hanging with friends) it's an ESCAPE from one's problems instead of WORKING on them. He's no different than a guy who gets drunk every night, except it's cheaper and he doesn't have a hangover, but the effect on the marriage is the same.
You have spent 1/2 of your marital life living with your in-laws; that in itself must have created quite a lot of stress and conflict. It may also have precipitated problems with your H if his parents couldn't see him as an independent adult with a W who needed to make their own decisions and mistakes...learn their own life lessons. If his parents were still treating you two like kids while you lived in their house, that could have started a lot of things off on the wrong foot in your marriage.
1.) After 6 years of marriage (3 of them living with HIS parents), your H has checked out of your marriage.
2.) Your emotional needs are NOT getting met.
3.) Your sexual needs are not getting met.
4.) Your H is refusing to act like an adult (other than holding down a job); he won't clean, cook, take care of the property, spend time with you, etc. He is acting like an irresponsible teenager! Earns money for beer & internet, now it's after 5:00pm, leave me alone, it's MY TIME.
What are YOU getting out of this relationship? You could pay your own rent, cook your own meals, do your own laundry...everything you're doing NOW and you would have the added bonus of NOT having to clean up after him (beer bottles, dirty socks, etc.). You would be less stressed and aggravated (by watching a full-grown adult expect YOU to do 100% of the work while he sits within 10 feet of you doing nothing). You would have a chance to find a REAL relationship with a man who enjoys spending time with you and wants to build a future with you.
So why are you still in it? You said you feel NOTHING. IF THAT IS TRUE, then why not cut your losses? Why not cut your workload by 1/3, your stress by 90%, and just move on?
If you do, in fact, feel SOMETHING, then you need to REQUIRE more from Video-Boy! If you don't require more, you're never going to GET more...he's all fat and happy with things they way they are.
You need to lay down the law (since you're the only one acting like an adult in this marriage) and you're apparently the ONLY ONE who is dissatisfied with this situation. Your H needs to work at this marriage WITH YOU, or you need to leave. YOU ALONE cannot fix this marriage; it needs his FULL and ACTIVE participation or you're just wasting what little time you have on earth.
Either unplug the computer BEFORE he gets home, or take the headphones and put them in a drawer BEFORE he gets home (because once he's home he doesn't even hear you).
Tell him you have ONE thing to say to him, and you're only going to say it ONCE.
"YOU either quit your video games COLD TURKEY starting tonight AND come with me to marital counseling IMMEDIATELY, or I'm leaving what's left of this marriage. I'm through with being ignored by you. I'm through with taking care of all the work around here by myself. I'm through with being roommates instead of spouses. I want a MARRIAGE where we talk, and laugh, and share, and have sex, and work together and BUILD A FUTURE, or I want OUT. Now, YOU TELL ME WHAT *YOU* WANT."
He either wants to man-up and FIX this situation, or he doesn't. Either way, you have your answer.
Good luck, let us know how it goes.