san andreas fault

I have been married for 13 years now. We had a great relationship as far as I knew and were the envy of other couples. Two years ago an old friend came back into my life. his wife and us began hanging out alot, including going to the bar once or twice a week. most of the time I would not go. Just my wife and him and his wife. My wife began texting him alot which eventually led to the breakdown of his relationship with his wife. After they were apart he and my wife began hanging out together alot more. i was OK with this because I had complete trust in our relationship. One night my wife told me she was no longer attracted to me and wanted to be single and independant. Aparently she has felt this way for a couple years. She refused to work on our disconnect and will not see a couseler. When I questioned her friendship with him she said she would be resentful and did not want to be married anymore. When I questioned him he said he needed her, that she had been there for him during his breakup. I could not take her sudden coldness and eventually moved out. We have 3 children and despite frequent requests to work on our marriage she says this is what she wants. I know we have been drifting apart for some time for whatever reasons but I still want what we once had but feel that all hope is gone. Any advice?

Toffer

First and most important is for you to move back in. Many courts could consider your moving out as abandonment

Second if you haven't already guessed your wife and friend are involved in an affair
At a minimum it is an emotional affair

You should do some reading in the infidelity section for a quick education
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WorkingOnMe

You didn't see this coming??? Wow, talk about burying your head in the sand. You let another man date your wife right under your nose. Even after he was single you let your wife continue dating him. Why?

827Aug

You say the other man's marriage broke down. Does this mean he and his wife are now divorced? If they are still married, you may want to speak with the wife--see if she can be of help. Also, tell his family and your wife's family what is going on. This relationship should be exposed.

You should move back into your marital home. Don't make life easy for a cheater. Since your wife is the unhappy one and wants to toss her family, then she needs to be the one to leave the family home. You need to be there. Your children need stability!

Gaia

Totally agree with all posts. Move back in and don't make it easy or comfortable for your wife.
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