Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Virginia
It is so obvious that this is not healthy for you that i'm sure the others feel as I do: what can we do to help her help herself? This would be a great time for you to call a halt to ALL plans--buying the house, wedding, etc. And then, focus on yourself--your health, your weight (if it contributes to your medical problems, otherwise, don't worry about it!). Please get some individual counseling--why would you want to be with someone like this? Why would you accept someone with such serious flaws? Clearly he has an addictive personality and the only way around that is total sobriety of ALL types--no drinking/drugs/gambling/porn, etc. Maybe he can turn things around--but that is NOT your problem. You are a worthwhile person who clearly deserves to be loved, so why settle for so much less?
His drinking is not moderate, by the way. Anything more than 2 drinks/day for a man is considered HEAVY drinking and has serious health consequences. He needs help but until he admits he has a problem, he's miles from even starting that journey. You could do him a huge favor by taking a stand for yourself and forcing him to realize what he loses by continuing to live in denial. If not, you will have moved on.