kfields1985

I have been with my b/f which you could call my husband for 3 yrs. this month. We are having problems in the trusting, fighting department. We never can agree on anything. Both sides of our families hate each other. I need your help on what to do to make our relationship better!

preso

First of all, let me say, living together may seem like marriage
but actually it isn't.

All I can tell you is be glad your not married and legally tied to him, now your free to find someone your more compatible with.

dcrim

Are you talking common law marriage? Some states recognize, some don't.

For example, Snix in TX is, me and xgf in MO weren 't. Sometimes, that's a good, sometimes it isn't.

If you're not married "legally"...check your options...think about moving on. And that WILL hurt, I promise; but, you will get over it.

If you want to make it better, though...have no contact with your families (for a while...let them wonder). Focus on each other. COMMUNICATE! Talk about everything. Make no unilateral decisions. Once you both are happy together, then your families can see that and be happy for you, if not for each other.

__________________
It ain't illegal until you're caught!

kfields1985

We are not common law married. Were not married at all. Like Last night he just wanted to fight over everything in the book. I couldnt stand it. I have tryed talking to him over everything but he never likes what he hears.

mamachrista

kfield, what is it that you fight over? is it small things? big things? the same thing over and over again? What does he think about your fighting?

One thing I used to do with my ex that worked well is that we kept a notebook that we would write to each other in it and it was a good way to communicate.

scarletblue

The notebook thing is a good idea. I've done something similiar with my husband. We argued a lot when we were first married. He's way better at it than I am (I hate arguing), so he always "won".

When discussions turn to fights, people get defensive and don't hear what is really being said anyway. If you write it down, you can think about the point you're trying to get across and word it better. I think when you're reading the stuff, you actually process it better.

Veronica Jackson

Life is too short to be fighting. I would strngly suggest ending this toxic relationship.

preso

back on topic... Certain people are just not right for each other. If you are not getting along, and fighting, this is a sign.
You are so lucky your not married, I can't tell you... as you can leave without all the legal bull...
be happy, all you have to do is move !