Re: Husband is uncomfortably close with a coworker
First off, when you know what you want, you do what you can to get it. I was at least honest with BOTH of them. Yes, I even told his ex that I did liked him. I kept my boundaries BIG TIME in the beginning while they were still together. And no, I don't have remorse because I did NOTHING wrong. I made food occasionally. That's where I stopped. Then HIS girlfriend cheated and they broke up. Then he rebounded with some chick. All while we would hang out. We did NOTHING at all beside eat together and watch movies or hang out with our friends. BOTH girls knew we were friends from the get go. Really good friends. I even tried to help him and his first girlfriend out, and even stayed away. I did not want to be a home wrecker. She messed things up. Not me. So no, I don't have remorse. And no, I don't feel bad for her because she cheated. She's now in a relationship that she's been in for quite a few years now and is doing well.
@galian84: He doesn't chat with her outside of work that I know of. I'm more concerned about an emotional thing rather than something physical. I don't know why he considers her a good friend because I don't know what they talk about. After he's had the overlapping shifts, he's more distant. And just to make things clear, I didn't cook JUST to get at him. Everyone eats, right? If we were hanging out at lunch time, we'd eat. If we were hanging out at dinner time, and neither of us had plans, we'd eat. It's not why I cooked. It wasn't my intent even though, yes, I did like him. It just happened to be lunch time or dinner time that we'd see each other.
@Emerald: No she's not married and very single.
@Caribbean Man: I worry because he has told me she's a really good friend, she cooks just him things, she's now looking for his approval with what she does and what she wears and she's majorly bettering herself. I would have no problem with any of this stuff IF she were to cook for everyone, not be taking such an interest in my husband, and she would quit stalking his fb page. Yes, she knows about me. All of his coworkers do.
I've been with him for almost 7 years now. I know this isn't a game. I'm very straight forward with him because of how we ended up. Yes, I liked him. Yes, I knew what I wanted. And yes, when I had the chance, I pounced. I kept MAJOR boundaries in place the entire time he was seeing anyone! We weren't sexual with anything until after he was out of both relationships.
My intent from the beginning was to get closer. Not steal him away. I don't know if any of you believe in love at first sight, but when I first laid my eyes on him, I just knew. I don't know how to explain it. I knew that if I didn't get closer, I'd be kicking myself in the butt. So I did. Now we're married with two kids and everything is pretty much awesome other than this girl.
No, I'm not dependent on him for happiness. I can't help it if he makes me happy! Other than having to stress out about this girl, I'm in a good place right now. I do, however, view marriage as a lifetime commitment. When he asked me to marry him, I told him that I only want to marry once. I didn't just jump into anything. We were engaged for almost 4 years before we actually tied the knot because I was leery about how we got together. We were best friends for about 2 1/2 years before we got together. So it's been about 10 years that I've known him.
I've seen his other relationships and they were NOTHING like how ours is. Even before the kids it's been different. We are a team. With his prior ones, the one girl from the beginning, used him. She was very scandalous from the get go (not wanting to be with only him, trying to hook up with other dudes, getting numbers, being the super drunk flirty chick and hanging on all the guys.) and really only did for her. The other girl was very aloof and air headed. I'm totally different than what they are. My thoughts from the very beginning were to get to know this guy better. We clicked immediately. Everything else just kind of fell into place and I seized my opportunity.