Husband is verbally abusive
I have been married for almost 3 1/2 years. . My husband loves his beer. He probably spends over a hundred dollars a month on it.My husband had I have not had sex for over three years.
It only happened once after we were married. We didn't even have sex on our wedding day because he drank too much beer and champange. He became nasty and said I looked like a ****. I asked what does that mean? He said I don't know, you just look like someone who could be one. That ruined my first wedding anniversary. My husband had sexual problems before we were married. It only happened once or twice a month but that didn't bother me much. Sex is a healthy thing between two married people but can be overdone then your stuck trying to find ways to make it better. Well I never got to that point. He said the problem was he had problems getting aroused. He said it's not like when he was younger and would get turned on for
no reason. He said he would work on it and even tried taking ed pills. They did nothing. I then a put on some weight. I knew it and got ready to work on it. Then I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I had my thyroid removed, was on no medication for two months while I prepared for radioactive iodine and body scans with special low iodine diet. Then after that was done it took year to find the correct dose of synthroid to put me on. In that year I slept a lot. I didn't eat much but with no meatabolism I gained weight fast. Most of my weightgain was during that year. I went from 145 to 185. I have a curvy figure so when losing weight I will never look skinny skinny. However, I worked on it and lost 30 pounds. I lost half the weight and my husband said I was looking better but another 15 or 20 pounds will be better. How messedup is that? He gained 30 pounds in one year after we quit smoking. He hasn't lost a pound but calls me fat.When I moved here he knew I has bad migraines. I get 3-4 a week. It is to put where I can't work and it can cause me to fall behind in my college courses. I manage to catch up with them though. My husband had a good job and my small disabilty payment was fine. He didn't make me pay rent or bills. After he got fired he asked for help with bills. I paid him. Then he went on unemployment and exhausted that. He has back problems from shrinking discs in his back.He ended up going on disability.After he went on disability he asked me to start paying rent and bills. I enough money in the back for awhile but that went fast. I started to look for at least part-time work even though I probably end up fired for my headaches. I have not been successful. Mcdonalds isn't even hiring where I live. All the temp agencys are hiring people for warehouse jobs that must be able to operate a forklift and lift fifty pounds. Fifty pounds is heavy for me but I could do it. However, I don't know the first thing about operating a forklift. My husband went to apply for one job once but you were requied to bring a diploma or GED with you. He didn't have his with him so he came home and didn't go back because he didn't feel like it. He has asked the landlord about paying him to fix and paint things around the apartment. The landlord said yes but hasn't asked him to do a thing to get paid. He claims all our problems are my fault. I get 389 dollars a month and he gets 1200 dollars a month. My half of the bills are 600 dollars a mont. I have to ask for money from my mother just to meet my half. I have also resorted to dropping courses at school and using my refund to pay my share so I don't get yelled at. I get called ***** a lot. Often I am asked what the **** is wrong me? I get told to get out the marraige is over and to go home to my mother. My mother lives over 300 miles away. If I had to leave I can't afford to. Last week my husband and got into an argument. We argue a lot. He starts the argument by fiding something to put down with and badger me with questions. I don't even remember what the fight was about. However, he resorted to saying **** you. I don't swear and sounds ridiculous if I do. I knew I should have kept quiet but when I do he gets in my face and says what y
ou don't got a mouth now?So I said I don't want to argue so I'm not saying anything. He says **** you again and said really when?He said to me never. He said it will never happen again because he has no desire whatsoever and I can think about why that is. I clean, take care of the cats, exercise, do my homework, keep looking for a job, etc. He still gets mad. I forgot to mention I don't cook. I have cooked a few times but he is the primary cooker. He sits on the computer for hours a day. During the year my doctors were trying to get me on the right dose for my thyroid my sleep schedule has reversed. I am up all night and sleep in the morning and get up in the late evening. I went to the doctor and they said I need to try to stay awake during the day but not deprive myself of sleep. I was also prescribed full dose sleeping pills that I was supposed to take everyday for seven days to help me get on schedule. They made me drowsy but that's it. They didn't help me sleep at all. I think my stress level is so high the only thing that w
ill knock me out is general antheshia. The only thing I don't do is cook. My husband complained it was my weight and I lost weight. Then he came up with a different excuse of I don't work and i've tried to find a job. But he doesn't work either. He says I need to get on his sleep schedule becuase he feels like he is sleeping alone. He calls me *****, ****, idiot, stupid, overweight but used to be fat, I have no common sense, and I'm a prude, I'm also ****ed up. He acknoledges that he is not
perfect but there is nothing wrong with him. Sometimes at night I just cry cause I don't know what to do. Evertime I do something that he asks he finds something else wrong I do. He has also said he no longer cares about my migraines, detal problems, and getting sick. I don't have dental so there is alot wrong. He said I have had morw than enough time to get ona sleep schedule and get a job. I am not allowed to use my migraines, thyroid, sleep problems, school, or not luck finding a job anymore. He often get into big fights with his half-brother. His hald brother is chronic liar, a porn addict, alcoholic, pot head, laughs like a 3 year old, and thinks he's a big bad biker. Up until the last year I dealt with their fighting and when they didn't talk we didn't argue about him. My husband said he was happy not talking to him but then he starts talking to him again. I done dealing with his brother. I have always been nice to his face but I don't like him as a person. I told my husband that. My husband said I have no position to say I don't want to be around him because he never did anything to me. He never did anything to me personally but it bothers me that he lies, calls my husband a drunk but when they hang out he gets him drunk and high with pot.He send him porn text messages and emails frequently. My husband has showed me. He used to send him gay porn with men until he said something about him. Howevr, he has no problem with porn that has one or more women involved. He is paranoid that I check his internet history. i don't check his history. I barely use his computer. I have my own computer. He also makes sur his cellphone is never out of his sight. he will sometimes go to bed and forget to bring something to drink with him but he makes sure he grabs his phone and shoes it in his pocket. He make sure to only charge his phone during the day when I'm sleeping. I don't touch his phone. He said to me a couple of weeks ago he doesn't trust me. I asked why and he said because sometimes at night I get the trash or recycling bin after its been picked up. Also sometimes I run something across the street to the mailbox. Those are his reasons. He also says i'm sneaky but he doesn't know how. He is actaually went ahead and created a separate profile on his computer just for porn and only he knows the password. He has told ne he likes watching blow jobs and anything with asian women. Well I can't be asian but I'm sure I can do something about the other thing. But he said he doesn't want them. I said to him you don't want sex or blow jobs or anything from me but loves watching other men get them and not only complains about me but complains about all women. It has gotten to the point to whre i said you could be gay. He blew up called me a **** and told me to get out his life and his apartment. I pretty much gave up on makeup, contacts, and looking nice. I still exercise and wear some makeup. I get my hair cut and color it myself. He doesn't exercise, ever try to look nice, and doesn't care about his hair. He only concerned with trying to get a ponytail. He look like he's pregnant but I never once called him fat and have said I would love him no matter what he looks like. He used to say that to me. I get a kiss, hug, and good morining when he wakes up. When gos to bed he says I love you, gives a kiss, and gives a hug. That is it. That is our only contact. When I 'm really upset with him I avoid him in the morning and night. When he's really upset with me he blows me off at night and then acts like everything is wrong. I think he is bi-polar and gay. He talks to him self all the time when he thinks I'm not around. Often when I ask what were you talking about he said I don't know. He was just talking to himslef three seconds before I asked and he already forget. That is crap. I have no idea what to do. I can't find a job, he won't change, I feel alone, I m sick of being broke and being the only who has to do something to get more money. He says he can support himself and can't. If I wasn't here he'd have to get a roomate. He said if I can't afford to live then I need to leave so he can get a roomate. He actaully said that nicely like it wasn't hurtful. We live in one bedroom apartment. Does he expect someone to pay 600 dollars a month to sleep on the couch? I have no idea what to do. Can't afford to leave, stay, and he won't change. He insists I need to change.