Re: Emotional connection needed for sex... but what does that mean?
This is something I have struggled to understand since as far back as I began thinking about sex. I can most definitely have sex with a woman I despise, provided I find her physically attractive. Of course, if I dislike her, it's unlikely she and I would get together to begin with. But it has occasionally happened. Afterwards, of course, I didn't request a repeat performance. One time a woman that I disliked did; I turned her down. I have never been so satisfied with myself in all my life. Not that I had the self-control to turn her down, but rather I was satisfied because of the look on her face. Many women use sex as a form of control over men; her realization that I wasn't falling for it was golden.
Am I a self-centered horse's behind? To a degree, yes. But I'm honest and up-front with women: I don't hide my intentions or promise anything more than I am willing to give. If they think they can change me and are later disabused of this mistaken notion, it's not my fault that their hopes overshadowed the truth of the situation.
I am married now, and that has its own set of difficulties. I have no problem having sex with my wife (when I can persuade her to) if I'm angry with her. On the other hand, she avoids me entirely when she's on about something. I simply do not understand why denying yourself the physical pleasure of sex is considered a normal response to anger for women. The idea reminds me of my mother's constant use of the phrase "cutting your nose off to spite your face." An annoying turn of phrase in my childhood that I think speaks well to this topic.
And speaking of sex as "the joining of souls?" I don't know about anyone else, but I have never felt my soul entwine with a woman; just some other parts. And no offense intended with that remark, Justean. I dearly enjoy reading your posts; I simply don't comprehend the spiritualization of what is a simple physical act.
Animals do it without all this bloody poetry, but the thrice-damned "sentience" of humans mucks the matter up endlessly. There's something to be said for just letting go and enjoying what happens, I think.