I lost my Best Friend
I posted this in another forum but I wanted to post it here also...
This is a long story, but I appreciate you reading!
So my Brother In Law is actually my best friend. We (usually) text consistently through out the day (usually making fun of each other) and now he hasn't talked to me even AFTER I apologized and I don't know what else to do.
What happened was recently he lost his job. So the day started out of me driving him to the unemployment office (it is right next to the college, where I had an appointment) so while I was at my apt he was setting all his stuff up. Well on the way home he admitted to me that the reason he got fired was TRUE, he in fact DID milk the clock for money and even did as much as drink WHILE ON THE JOB. so that annoyed me that he was so irresponsible.
That night we had planned for a while to go out to a bar(the night before halloween). My BIL goes out almost every night with our annoying alcoholic loser of a cousin and they sit in the corner with each other and don't talk to anyone. My BIL always complains that he doesn't know many ppl and doesn't have a GF so my hubby and I invited him out to the bar we go to (my best friend is the bar tender) so that he could meet people and meet GIRLS, especially one girl I had in mind for him. (this was a special occasion because hubby only has ONE week DAY off, and BIL had weekends off, so we rarely ever got to go out together)
Well it all started that he was complaining that he can't spend all of his money, and I kept reminding him that IT IS FREE (like I said my best friend is the bartender)(and I just realized that I am saying my BIL and my bartender are my best friends, but the bartender is a female so she is a best friend on an actual BEST FIREND level....if that makes sense.lol)
ANYWAYS not only was my BIL VERY late when he got there he was really rude to people and gave everyone the cold shoulder. a bunch of us girls were trying to tell him about the girl we had in mind for him and he just kept acting rude and not even trying to return the conversation at all. then as the bar was closing we went out for a smoke (I don't smoke but I do when im drunk ) and so my BIL said he would light my cig for me so I gave it to him and he put it in his pocket and wouldn't give it back (he doesn't smoke) I kept telling him to give it back but he wouldn't, I kept getting really pissed off. So he drove me and hubby to my inlaws house (where my BIL hangs out a lot) and on the way I was saying 'I never get to go out and now you just ruined the night with your terrible attitude" and on and on. and then he took us to my inlaws when initially he was suppose to drive us home. Well then I just kept texting him and telling him how annoying he was and how I didn't understand why he was so rude and blah blah. he was very rude in return also...
about a week later went by and I apologized..and he never even texted me back. (I should add that he is on our cell phone plan but pays us 10$ for his phone line) and in the argument he did say he was going to get on his own phone program.
so then a week after the argument I shut off his phone too and told him "I turned off your phone because I don't know why you would think you could have such a strong hate for me yet still use my phone, you've had a week, that's long enough to get on your own phone line" and he never messaged me back to that either, that was via FB message btw.
anyways...my mom (who recently joined AA) was randomly saying to me "be careful about when you drink, not that you have a problem, but you're a lot like me and you get mouthy and its hard for the women in this family to eat $hit and say when we are wrong" and this is true...I find myself sometimes during the day just crying because I am so bummed out that I lost my best friend over a stupid little fight! I don't understand why he hasn't accepted my apology. or at least had a few days to process the apology and gotten back to me. its been a week exactly since my apology.
The question is-should I message him again and ask him to talk to me about what he is feeling, or should I just let it be.
The problem is that my inlaws (including him) are a bunch of procrastinators and not to mention pu$$y's that are always to coward for conflict (of any sort) so what I DON'T want is for the holidays to come around and us awkwardly have to be around each other for the holidays with no resolution.
anyways.....sorry about the length.....