Help, my husband wont answer phone
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:45 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Help, my husband wont answer phone

My husband is away at wor,k, and we got into an argument
yesterday because I checked his email, and he had emailed an old girlfriend. Now he wont answer his phone. We are both in our 50's, second marriages, been married 7 years. Need advice. Do I keep calling? I feel so sad.
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:50 PM   #2 (permalink)
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i suppose you are going to have to wait till he calls you back....i would be angry if my fiance did what you did too....let him cool off
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:53 PM   #3 (permalink)
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i suppose you are going to have to wait till he calls you back....i would be angry if my fiance did what you did too....let him cool off
Hmmm....let's not forget what the OP found when checking his email...

Where there's smoke, there's fire. No doubt, she had a good reason for checking, or even a gut feeling. Regardless, she found something didn't she?
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:54 PM   #4 (permalink)
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My husband is away at wor,k, and we got into an argument
yesterday because I checked his email, and he had emailed an old girlfriend. Now he wont answer his phone. We are both in our 50's, second marriages, been married 7 years. Need advice. Do I keep calling? I feel so sad.
Can you provide a little more background? I feel for you. Had something similar happen to me a few years back. No fun.
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
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My hubby and I can check up on each other at any time. We have each others passwords. We have nothing to hide.

I'd be quite ticked if I saw that. Wait until he gets off of work to talk to him. I do think its an inappropriate email.
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Old 11-15-2012, 02:02 PM   #6 (permalink)
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So is he mad about what you found out, or is he mad you checked his email, or both?

I wouldn't keep calling him. I wouldn't be sad either. What prompted you to check his email? What you found must not be too good.
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Old 11-15-2012, 02:08 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Hmmm....let's not forget what the OP found when checking his email...

Where there's smoke, there's fire. No doubt, she had a good reason for checking, or even a gut feeling. Regardless, she found something didn't she?
i guess i dont believe in going behind peoples backs and snooping, maybe im old school
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Old 11-15-2012, 02:13 PM   #8 (permalink)
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i guess i dont believe in going behind peoples backs and snooping, maybe im old school
But its okay for a married man to be emailing and ex girlfriend? Can't get much more old school than a faithful, till death do us part marriage in my opinion.
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Old 11-15-2012, 02:15 PM   #9 (permalink)
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But its okay for a married man to be emailing and ex girlfriend? Can't get much more old school than a faithful, till death do us part marriage in my opinion.
nobody said it was okay,

where did you hear that?
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Old 11-15-2012, 02:15 PM   #10 (permalink)
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i guess i dont believe in going behind peoples backs and snooping, maybe im old school
Well, hard to know for sure unless OP confirms, but I highly doubt that her husband was emailing his ex with her blessing...I know my H certainly wasn't!

Usually people snoop for a reason. But I am of the opinion that there should be no secrets or privacty in marriage. Again, there's a darned good reason for that...
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Old 11-15-2012, 02:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Stop calling. He is trying to turn the tables and make you the bad guy to take the heat off of himself. You calling is putting him in a position of power in this situation. Depending on what was in the email I think you should be the one ignoring his phone calls.

My SO and I are open books to each other. If he wants to go through my email, what do I care? I have nothing to hide. Same goes for him. Electronic communication is done in silence, you wouldn't care if your SO were in the room with you on the phone would you? So why do you care if they see what you are writing to other people? You want privacy, keep a diary or see a psychologist. Communication with friends, family and ex's have no reason to be hidden from a SO unless you are doing something wrong.
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Old 11-15-2012, 03:37 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Help, my husband wont answer phone

Yeah, he's mad that you found out. Makes me wonder what else you'd find out if you did a bit more digging.

There's got to be a reason you snooped.

What had he been emailing her about?

I agree, STOP calling him. You're being obsessive and clingy and needy and kind of pathetic, calling him to beg. I bet you want him to forgive you, right?? Well, if anyone should be doing any forgiving it is YOU. YOU should be pissed at HIM.
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Old 11-15-2012, 03:51 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Yeah, he's mad that you found out. Makes me wonder what else you'd find out if you did a bit more digging.

There's got to be a reason you snooped.

What had he been emailing her about?

I agree, STOP calling him. You're being obsessive and clingy and needy and kind of pathetic, calling him to beg. I bet you want him to forgive you, right?? Well, if anyone should be doing any forgiving it is YOU. YOU should be pissed at HIM.
Took the words right out of my mouth....
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Old 11-15-2012, 04:08 PM   #14 (permalink)
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i guess i dont believe in going behind peoples backs and snooping, maybe im old school
It isn't snooping. There shouldn't be secrets between people who are married and committed to making a marriage work.

When you start communicating with someone of the opposite sex WITHOUT your partner knowing, it starts you down a very slippery slope.

Privacy is for using the bathroom, not the internet.
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Old 11-15-2012, 04:31 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Thanks to all the replys, they make me feel somewhat better. I definitely believe he is trying to turn this around to make me the bad guy. I am going to resist and not call him again. This is just so hard
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