General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Okay, the sex in my marriage has dwindled down again. I know there is hope and it can pick up. I guess I just have to play it cool and learn to talk her into it. She just doesn't feel she wants sex unless she's had some wine and I go down on her.
But I really need to feel women find me attractive. I'm middle aged. My wife shows no interest in my appearance. Perhaps that can change. I am not sure.
What is a man to do when he feels he really needs to feel attractive for women again?
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Before I got married I said to my wife that I would make all the major decisions and she would be allowed to make all the minor decisions in our marriage. Thankfully up to this point I haven't had to make any major decisions.
Women are attracted to men who can attract other women. If your wife's friends flirt with you, it automatically makes you hot property with the wife. Posted via Mobile Device
I'm getting back into shape. I'm only 20 pounds over weight. But that's enough. I am starting to wear nice clothes again. My hair is okay. I'm going gray. I have to wear my wedding ring more often.
Women are attracted to men who can attract other women. If your wife's friends flirt with you, it automatically makes you hot property with the wife. Posted via Mobile Device
Dress and groom like you earn a lot more than you do. Keep up the workout routine.
Get rid of the gray and get a new cut.
If you want to see if women will take notice of this new you remove your wedding ring.
I have done this. My wife wondered what the F I was up too. I lost count of the number of smiles and glances I have/had received from women in my peer group.
It made me feel powerful again.
Athol Kay ( author ) calls it uping your sex rank.
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Before I got married I said to my wife that I would make all the major decisions and she would be allowed to make all the minor decisions in our marriage. Thankfully up to this point I haven't had to make any major decisions.
Grey hair doesn't necessarily mean that a man is unattractive. My husband's uncle has some grey hair, and I think he's sexy. My husband has looked like him his whole life, so I'm hoping he ages like him too.
But, point being...becoming middle aged doesn't mean you aren't still attractive.
I don't know the size of the town that you live in. When I was in Austin, Texas, I paid two girls from the Hair Cutting School to flirt with me in front of my STBXW. Man, she was pissed but she did stake her claim to me. Just a thought.
Start dressing (and acting) like you don't "own" your wife, and you have to win her over... all over again.
Dress like you want to impress her.. (and her only). Say the nice things to her that you did when you dated. Rub her shoulders, hugs, etc, without expecting sex that night. (Or did you expect it on every date?)
I am pretty bothered that your post seems to say that you want to be attractive to "other women". Both the "other" and the plural "women".
BTW, your line, lol - should have said something like party/movies/dinner/date instead of assignments/homework/project in my opinion haha
Oh the young days!
@Mr.Potential
I've always been a pretty boy, but I still had to learn the game. The funny thing is that I've always been picky because of growing up with everyone going on and on about my looks and having women always looking at me making me think at times if there's something wrong with me or something. Then when I finally found myself a hottie to ask out, they said no lol
So I had to learn the game, and confidence/attitude is the foundation of success or failure when it comes to the game, not how much of a pretty boy you are.
What is attractive is a man who flirts with a woman, teases her a bit and who tells her she is attractive. When was the last time you gave her flowers.
Okay, the sex in my marriage has dwindled down again. I know there is hope and it can pick up. I guess I just have to play it cool and learn to talk her into it. She just doesn't feel she wants sex unless she's had some wine and I go down on her.
But I really need to feel women find me attractive. I'm middle aged. My wife shows no interest in my appearance. Perhaps that can change. I am not sure.
What is a man to do when he feels he really needs to feel attractive for women again?