09-10-2009, 12:05 PM
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Near Chicago
| | Re: Husband dropped a bombshell on me
Originally Posted by hlnlnge
This is why I pushed to get an answer and it came out: Sex with me is an effort. Certain things that I do is a turnoff for him and has been for the past 10 years. Its me. I asked him why he never just told me "Hey, I don't like it if you do that" and I would've changed it in a heartbeat and he said that he thought that things would get better on its own.
Today, I feel like giving up. Yes he told me what's really going on (I think). I am so devastated and humilitated.
He's been pretending for our whole marriage.
Okay, I would be devastated and humilitated too. But looking at your situation from the outside, this would be the worst time to give up! He has finally opened up to you, so at least now you have something to work with.
You are not a man, you are not him, you only work with how he responds...so if he hasn't been forthcoming with what he wants, what feels good, what doesn't .... it aint about you
I hope he gave you enough detail to work with....if not, ask for details...what would turn him on etc....read up some stuff on your own and talk about it...
I think the reason many men/women keep quiet about what they like/don't like is either fear of hurting the other or fear of being thought of as a wierdo
... Either way, this isn't about you...it's about being more open with one another sexually.