Veronica Jackson

Thanks babe! I am waiting for construction of my townhouse to be complete, hopefully this week it will be done. Considering my H broke up with me on May 20, I have 2 kids and have back injury, I'm doing just fine.

50 minutes of pilates every single day to deal with stress and strengthen my back really works. I take my kids to the gym and pool almost every morning before I go to my summer job.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and when I want to get pissed off or cry, I workout instead. There is a considerable amount of change occurring.

I use affirmations to keep me afloat. i understand this one is about genetics but I can't help but be inspired by this quote:

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change." ~ Charles Darwin

voivod

yeah, if party means share drinks and subsequent activities like i used to do when i was living the life of hedonism. she reminds me of several girls i used to know who wore their "attitude" on there sleeves similarly. i don't think one of those girls has found true happiness today.

if your husband was a complete "ricardo" too bad for him. but maybe he became that way because of your propensity to "boyfriend up."

__________________
separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.


4 kids g18, g12, g11, b7

Veronica Jackson

My husband was acting like a "ricardo" for a long time. He has little respect for women and entered this relationship with trust issues. I was single for about 5 years before I met him and was doing very well on my own.

The new guy is just fate, and it is very strange for me to "boyfriend" up so quickly. I am not trying to make him jealous, I just can't control my heart on this one. Normally I would be alone, but somebody was put in my path that I can't ignore. I'm not going to go all out and start living with this guy or marry him, its just is what it is.

If the husband has residual feelings and actually has love for me then he should stop being such a coward and step up.

I am not one of those girls who hasn't found true happiness, I am not empty inside because I am very spiritual. My activities are healthy ones

voivod

really??? my apologies. i'm not seeing that one.

__________________
separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.


4 kids g18, g12, g11, b7

Veronica Jackson

There is a real person behind the avatar. Apology accepted.

Veronica Jackson

Thanks MizSmith, I was just thinking about paperwork today. He was the one who threw this all away, I loved him with all my heart but has shown his true colors. He hasn't had any respect for me and it took this to make me realize this.

There are no more tears over here and I am no longer a victim of his chronic sarcasm. What ever he decides to dish out will be like water off a duck's back.

He knows I'm dating a model and he is no Zoolander either. He has a psychology degree!

Veronica Jackson

OMG I was just looking at somepics on my phone and I took video of my drunk H saying pretty much the same stuff as he did when he ended it.

This video was dated 11.29.2008! He also flipped me the finger in it as well. This means that he felt no love or respect for me for a long time and I put up with his cutting rearks and sarcasm.

When I confronted him on his sarcasm (see chonically sarcastic husband), he claimed it was just poking fun at me. I used to work for a woman's sheltering agency and was trained on identifying domestic abuse. I definitely would classify his behavior toward me as emotional abuse. How could I have been so naive!

This jerk keeps getting better, losing love for him is getting much easier.

I hope he is seething inside and feels extremely unattractive compared to my hot new guy. GRRRRRRR

sisters359

The U.S. doesn't recognize "crimes of passion" anymore. It's called "domestic violence" and it's against the law.

Veronica Jackson

How would that apply to this thread?

Rhea

This whole thread is about crimes of passion...well at least people's responses are right?

__________________
"Cause I'll be there, in the back of your mind, from the day we met to the very last night, and it's just too bad, you've already had the best days, the best days of your life..."

Veronica Jackson

My situation is definitely not considered a "crime of passion." If anything, I see no crime here, just a blatant act of bull**** on my H's part. I see a damaged pride at the hands of a woman who had enough. A much-deserved hit where it hurts.

He should have come out with his true feelings long ago instead of masking it over the months with hurtful sarcasm. I took several hits to the self-esteem and it caused unecessary heartbreak and pain. He played with fire and he eventually got burned.

People should be honest and face the music with their partners instead of keeping their feelings in.

Rhea

Please don't mistake my post as a bash at you. I wish responding to Sister's post. I don't believe Sister was bashing you either, I think she was simply responding to all the chatter about crimes of passion.

I do agree w/you about being honest and facing the music...however I do believe you should get a formal separation PDQ as boyfriends and husband's go together about as well as girlfriend's and wives...they don't. That's my point.

Hugs
Rhea

__________________
"Cause I'll be there, in the back of your mind, from the day we met to the very last night, and it's just too bad, you've already had the best days, the best days of your life..."

voivod

you don't use "crime of passion" as a legal defense...duh...

dont give offenders too much credit either...domestic violence is not "crime of passion" as described in black's law...

ever heard of jury nullification? call a crime what you want. a jury can nullify...it happens ALL THE TIME...

__________________
separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.


4 kids g18, g12, g11, b7

Veronica Jackson

Rhea I didn't think feel it was bashing at all, I just realizd this thread went in two different directions, just like my marriage. LMFAO!

I had a serious revelation last night with regards to why I felt so bad about myself at times and had a depressive episode a couple of times. grrrrrrr

This jerk husband of mine is a piece of work. Saying that because I'm dating someone I have no respect for the two years we've known each other. More like its the other way around as he treated me this way for as long as I could remember.

I'm ot religious, but some of my friends are and they say my bf is an angel that was sent to me.

Veronica Jackson

Apparently my husband thinks I'm playing some sort of game with him and decides to make the next two weeks unbearable with silent treatment. This is an email I sent.

Listen, I'm sorry if he called the house but sometimes fate don't wait it is what it is. I made sure its not gonna happen again. I'm not playing any games whatsoever, the only thing I'm doing is moving on. I'm not making it your business because it isn't. You should at least be happy for me. The only thing I'm doing is healing the busted heart that you left me with and I choose not to cry about it but to move on. Its not easy to do this because I still got ****ing pain happening. I'm managing and have no time for playing foolish games, I have enough on my plate to deal with. It is evident that you really do not know me at all. I can't help it that someone I'm totally compatible with just so happen to come back into my life at the perfect time. It's not what I expected because I still loved you with everything in my heart and I still ****ing do, that's the sad thing.

Remember our conversation at Tim's? I told you that I was hanging out with someone and you didn't seem to mind. I assure you there are no games here. I'm too old for that ****.

As far as respect goes, you've shown me a good dose of disrespect during our two years together with cutting sarcasm and silent treatment that did a number on my self-esteem. I can't expect you to empathize with that because you don't respect me whatsoever. You have no idea the stuff I've gone through since being here nor do you care, that is no way to be a husband. Try to brainstorm the crap I went through as well. Let me help you.

1. alcoholic dad almost died
2. loss of second mother
3. career change
4. a couple of deaths (including one that I'm currently having a hard time getting over)
5. multiple job rejections
6. you

Of course there is more but I have an excellent sounding board for which I can count on.

Your patronizing and condescending behavior over the past year was enough to make me want to leave a few months earlier. However, you on the other hand, knew for a very long time that you didn't want me in your life yet chose to express your resentment through the hurtful sarcasm that you call humor. I was willing to explore ways to heal our relationship but you neither loved nor respected me enough to engage.

Letting go of the past was something you are not very skilled at, nor is forgiveness. You obviously still had issues with our rough start, but chose to bottle it all up and release your wrath while drunk or through the blame game. Believe me, I haven't come out of this unscathed.

Communicating with you is extremely difficult because you put up a wall from the very beginning and I resent that. Why don't you grow up, stop thinking that everything is about you and let it go. If you ever loved me at all, be happy for me that I'm not an emotional mess but engaging in healthier activities to help me heal.

I wrote this long response because you seem to read better than you hear.