How to move on and stop loving my husband
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Old 06-27-2009, 09:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
Xia
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Default How to move on and stop loving my husband

I've been married for 11 years and we have two boys ages 7 and 10. My husband works out of town a lot and sometimes does not contact me for days. It hurts me that he doesn't call and I feel neglected, unwanted and lonely. I've asked if there is someone else but he has there is no one. I guess I just don't trust him. By the way, I tried to contact him without luck, the last time I heard from him was three days ago. He treats me well when he is in town, he never complains and still says he loves me eventhough I nag him. Don't get me wrong, he is no Mr Perfect Husband either. We are starting to see a counsellor so maybe we can salvage this marriage. I wish that I have no feelings for him anymore. I want to be able to move on and no longer love him. That way, whatever he is doing I wouldn't care anymore. I can't move forward if I still have feelings for him for him. Any suggestions on how to get over him?

Am I approaching this the wrong way? Thanks for reading.
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Old 06-27-2009, 10:56 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to move on and stop loving my husband

Don't try to get over him yet. Give counseling an honest try! You owe him that unless you have PROOF he is cheating.

My stbx showed up at our first marriage counseling session and said right off the bat, "I'm only here to try to get her to agree to an amicable divorce". I'm sorry that hurt! Then after a couple of visits I quit going and found myself an individual therapist. He now tells people he tried marriage counseling, but I wouldn't cooperate. What nerve! Go to marriage counseling with both an open mind and heart.
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Old 06-27-2009, 11:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to move on and stop loving my husband

Yes...try counseling. And be honest about your feelings. If you can stick it out through this then maybe your relationship is going to be wonderful. Don't give up unless you have good reason. Hurt will make you want to not love someone but if you think there is ever a way to get over a divorce...you are sadly mistaken. Even if you can get out of the marriage in one piece and move on...it will always be there in the back of your heart...nagging at you. So if it is possible ...then give it 100 percent and then 100 percent more. Be patient and understanding and honest. And instead of putting energy into trying to get over him.....put energy into the counseling. I pray you have wonderful results and that God gives you the strenght and Grace to do this. Bless you. Good luck.
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Old 06-28-2009, 12:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to move on and stop loving my husband

You won't stop loving him...for a long time.

You married for a reason and that won't go away.

In time you will get over him, though. It will hurt...it will be a roller coaster ride...been there, done that...you will heal...like all of us here.
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:34 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to move on and stop loving my husband

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Originally Posted by Xia View Post
I've been married for 11 years and we have two boys ages 7 and 10. My husband works out of town a lot and sometimes does not contact me for days. It hurts me that he doesn't call and I feel neglected, unwanted and lonely. I've asked if there is someone else but he has there is no one. I guess I just don't trust him. By the way, I tried to contact him without luck, the last time I heard from him was three days ago. He treats me well when he is in town, he never complains and still says he loves me eventhough I nag him. Don't get me wrong, he is no Mr Perfect Husband either. We are starting to see a counsellor so maybe we can salvage this marriage. I wish that I have no feelings for him anymore. I want to be able to move on and no longer love him. That way, whatever he is doing I wouldn't care anymore. I can't move forward if I still have feelings for him for him. Any suggestions on how to get over him?

Am I approaching this the wrong way? Thanks for reading.
Your lucky he is willing to go to counseling with you ! some men won't ! so that is a good sign he also wants to improve and work on the marriage........... BUT
it does not sound like you do... !!!

If you want to get over him and not care, then you should seperate and get on with your life, seperate from him. That will have a price so your going to have to decide and weigh the situations carefully as which is best for you.. to work on the marriage or seperate and start a new life.
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Old 06-28-2009, 02:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to move on and stop loving my husband

I felt neglected and lonley in my marriage and my husband was I town. He doesn't even want to do counseling. My husband is a loser.
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