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Old 01-03-2013, 12:27 PM   #16 (permalink)
Join Date: Jun 2010
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Default Re: Husband and my family hate each other, blowup at Christmas

Originally Posted by tsbob2010 View Post
I don't know what to do. My parents think they are right and my husband thinks he is right. I'm stuck in the middle trying to make sense of everything. I love my husband and our relationship together. He loves me and looks out for my best interest. He's not perfect and neither am I, we've had our ups and downs. But we love each other and I feel like compared to other couples, we have alot that others don't have.

Apologies for how long this was, any advice would be great.
You don't need to do anything. Ask your husband to do whatever he thinks is needed to protect your marriage. Let him take care of everything and all you do is support him and make sure he knows that he has your support. I'm sure he can figure out what to do, if not, write us back for suggestions
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Old 01-03-2013, 12:35 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and my family hate each other, blowup at Christmas

Her Parents & Sister are taking a lot of heat in this post.

If my daughter "complained" for years about her husband, I would not think very highly about him. I would be respectful but sometimes we say things in anger especially when we are bottling up feelings.

I think you created this situation, as you know, by complaining about your husband to your family. You have the power to undo this.

I would tell them that you NOW know you should never have complained about your husband to them. Don't blame them. Ask them to show respect to your husband from this point forward to be good role model Grandparents to their Grandchild & also it is what you now expect.

Put your foot down now. Your family will have lots of "opinions" on how you should raise your child (which you won't agree with lol) so now is a good time to grow a pair.
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Old 01-03-2013, 12:36 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and my family hate each other, blowup at Christmas

It's your life, not your parents. They need to grow up, back off and allow you to live your life. In addition, for the sake of family and their grandchild, they need to learn to live with your decisions. Furthermore, you need to decide what's most important: your parents or your Husband and son. If your parents can't respect your decisions, it might be best to stay away from them for a while.
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Old 01-03-2013, 12:57 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband and my family hate each other, blowup at Christmas

Your husband was right to chase out the grandparents at the hospital, they were over stepping their position. They seem to see you still as a child. This is why the Bible talks about leaving your family and cleaving to your spouse. Ultimately you have to decide if you want to be their child or his wife.

However, it doesn't have to come to that point. You don't seem to understand your power as the mother of their grandchild. They have to learn that to have access to the children they have to learn to be GRANDparents. I recommend that you have a conversation with them. Just you them and the baby. Explain to them your position, this may not be easy, so you may want to write it out for yourself. You want them in your lives, but they have to respect your marriage. They will probably never like him or vice versa, but they can learn to be civil to one another.

They won't like you talking to them that way, but they need to learn you are a grown woman and they are causing damage to your marriage. You will probably have to limit their interaction with husband until they all learn to play with one another. Grandparents that don't play nice, get less contact with baby than grandparents that do play nice.
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