Re: Husband and my family hate each other, blowup at Christmas
Your husband was right to chase out the grandparents at the hospital, they were over stepping their position. They seem to see you still as a child. This is why the Bible talks about leaving your family and cleaving to your spouse. Ultimately you have to decide if you want to be their child or his wife.
However, it doesn't have to come to that point. You don't seem to understand your power as the mother of their grandchild. They have to learn that to have access to the children they have to learn to be GRANDparents. I recommend that you have a conversation with them. Just you them and the baby. Explain to them your position, this may not be easy, so you may want to write it out for yourself. You want them in your lives, but they have to respect your marriage. They will probably never like him or vice versa, but they can learn to be civil to one another.
They won't like you talking to them that way, but they need to learn you are a grown woman and they are causing damage to your marriage. You will probably have to limit their interaction with husband until they all learn to play with one another. Grandparents that don't play nice, get less contact with baby than grandparents that do play nice.