Need advice on how to start dating after 30 years in one relationship
I need advice on how to start dating after 30 years in one relationship. Had been with my wife all that time and learned two months ago that she no longer wanted to be married and had an ongoing long term affair and a prior one night stand. Filed for divorce two months after learning this (no chance of reconciliation).
I'm moving forward with my life and would like to get back to being able to date when the time is right and I find the right women. My head is screwed on straight, I'm not looking back, and actually feel very good about putting the past behind me (it was never a great marriage and I look forward to finding someone who will be nice to me and fun to be with).
Here are a few questions:
(1) How do I find out if a woman is single. They may not be wearing a ring and may or may not be married, but how do you ask if they are involved with someone (without embarrassing yourself).
(2) I've already gone out for drinks (and light bar food) with a woman that I like on two occasions. We have fun together and I'd like to do more. Probably not a serious long term relationship, but someone I could see myself dating for a while. She definitely has gotten dressed up for our two outings and looks great. When can I tell her that I'd like to be more than friends (i.e. - be intimate with her). She seems like someone who would respond honestly and I feel comfortable.
(3) Not having dated for over 30 years, I don't know what the rules are. I'm 53 (54 in two months) and am completely in the dark about how things work today. I have read different things about how many dates before sex (and know that there are no absolute rules) but would welcome advice on how to "read the signals" of when it's okay to pursue someone beyond just a kiss on the cheek goodnight.
(4) I know not to talk about my STBX and do feel comfortable talking about the other parts of my life, including my grown kids (22 and 24). What else should I consider when I start to date.
(5) I'm pretty outgoing, have a good sense of humor, am considered by most to be a nice guy. My STBX tells me that I am good looking and always pleased her sexually. I'm just a novice about getting back in the game.
Any advice would really be welcomed.