07-04-2009, 11:47 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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| Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 20
|  Re: Messed Up Situation
Well thanks for the reply, I appreciate it. Porn was never a substitute for intmacy I was just watching it one night while she was sleeping and she saw me. Other than that we have usually watched it together. I always told My Wife that when we both met eachother and became close and were dating that I had obstacles in my way from the beginning which was basically every hurtful thing she had ever had done to her by some other guy which had weaknened her trust in men and forcerd her to put up the wall of defence. She never believed it.
Right now as it stands she has let this rather difficult time pass by the wayside for now so she says. I have reassured her that in No way would I ever risk our family over something stupid like this. I have way too much respect for myself, my family and I would never risk hurting my little girl by betraying Her Mother in this way. I could never look at myself in the mirror if I thought that I had done something like this and meant it. It's almost like she wants to believe that I have done something to her so she can validate her own feelings. My Wife has always been a bit needy when it comes to her feeling good about herself. Weak Self-Esteem caused by her Mother when she was younger has cause her to become overweight, eat for comfort and feel like she has always had to impress others especially her Mother or to just show her that she is reaching out. I know that deep down she wants a relationship with her Mother because she always comes back for more when they have a falling out and then I'm the one who has always had to pick up the peices afterwards when they have a big blow out.
A lot of times I feel as if the issues My Wife has over this rediculous issue with these pictures comes from the trust issues she has had all the time throughout her life. I can't make her see that. All I can do is comfort her through the rough times but that doesn't seem to matter to her. My Wife used to be a very generous and giving person and she still is to a certain degree but now she just wants so much it's borderline greedy need. I can only do so much. She complains that I sometimes don't spend enough time with My Daugher but I have to work two jobs because she doesn't have even one. I have a car loan that's up end of next March and I want to quit my weekend Job and let my Wife work but she got weird when I mentioned it. I really think she is afraid to work. She hasn't been steadily employed since 2004 November when she was laid off an Insurance Job. We were getting married in 2005 and she broke her foot in '05 in Feb, in the snow and was unable to work due to therapy. When she went for job interviews she had to tell everyone she was getting married and no one wanted to hire her when they found out she was going to be taking two weekes off for a Honeymoon. When we got back from P.E.I. she was suppose to get a job but she let her License expire and then decided she wanted to do other things. This put a big knot in all out marriage plans because we were suppose to get our bills paid off and she wasn't working and she said she would. My Wife may have trust issues with me but I have almost no faith in her ability to be independant from me in her ability to contribute to half of our finances and our household. My Wife is a messy person when it comes to cleaning up most of the time. She is a self proclaimed procrastinator who never finishes anything which is why I find baby bottles all over the place sometimes hours after she has fed Our Daughter. In the summer she has rarely taken Our Daughter outside because she can't stand the heat. I explain to her that even if that's the case she should still take her out. It's not about her it's about Our Daughter and the fact that she can't sit in air conditioning all day... she needs fresh air. I find my wife to be sometimes less than adequate when it comes to caring for my Daughter in the activity level she has set for herself which impedes her ability to take her on outings and basic stimulation from the outside world. Of course it doesn't help that she's on four Celexa per day. This wasn't the case when we were first Married. My Wife's Depression has steadily increased over the last three to four years. She went from two 20mg pills perday to four in less than two years. Of course she did lose her Gramma to a stroke Feb, 06th of this year which was devastating because she was the last family member she was truly close to. Her Mother kicked her out of the house when she was a teenager and her Grandparents took her in and basically were parents to her more than her mother. I Love My Wife and My Daugher. I Love being the Provider...most of the time but sometimes enough is enough. Kinda makes the initial issue of why I joined this forum seem dumb doesn't it?
Thanks and sorry for the rant.
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