Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

My fiance and I have very recently got engaged after dating for 2yrs, He travels the US & Europe alot for his job, which at first wasn't a problem for me. Sometimes we wouldn't see each other for a month at a time. If we did have time together when he wasn't touring & i had to go to work he would get aggravated because he wants alone time together, He always begged me to quit my job and be with him full time as he can provide for us both. Im a professional Ballet dancer but i'm a GoGo Dancer on the side for extra money & I love my job, I've been dancing since i was 2. My fiance was always very vocal on how much he doesn't like that i GoGo dance but supported me anyway but constantly tells me how much he hates knowing that men watch me etc. We are happy together and i love him so much but we seem to argue alot about this which ruins the minimum time we have together.

We had an agreement when we started dating that he would never come by my job when im working because he said he couldn't deal with it but last week the night before we was due back on the road and without telling me first, he came by my job, This was the 1st time he'd seen me perform and when i went to him he was so angry with me asking why i enjoy the attention of other -(in his words) perverts getting a 'hard on'- it got very heated and he yelled that my job is the reason we cant be around each other & that he supports me being a dancer just not that kind, He said he wishes he never laid eyes on me, which really hurt me i started to cry, In a rage he punched the wall beside me which scared me but he said that he was sorry and that he crossed the line he just can't deal with it and that i have to figure out what i want more, The job or him and then walked out. He is coming home tomorrow and im strongly thinking about quiting my job but my friend thinks he is manipulating me and is being too possessive. I understand were he is coming from but i honestly do love my job, its a fun outlet for me and i feel torn, Should i stand my ground with my job or am i letting it get in the way of what could be something great? Advice please?
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

Most men don't want a go go dancer for their wife.

Give up the job. It ain't worth it.
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Didn't you ask this question in this exact forum before? Are you rephrasing your question in hopes if getting different answers???


The answer is most men don't want their wife in that line of work.

Your options are dump your job or him.
He's not going to change his morals and values and you obviously don't want to stop go go dancing.
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

Your friend is not helping you. Your husband is being the opposite of manipulative. He is directly telling you what he will and will not accept. Now it's up to you to decide if 'go-go' dancing (I'm assuming you mean cage or pole dancing here) is important enough to you to reject a man who has a normal aversion to his wife dancing so that other men can get off.
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:45 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

As a man I'd date a go-go dancer. Your sisters who offer 'after hour services' means I probably won't consider marrying one, not if she kept working.

Essentially you are telling him that the money and/or thrill of freedom you get from dancing/stripping whatever is more important than a forever with him, much less a NOW with him.

I travel overseas a lot too. My wife took most of my time in country off and told her boss to shove it. She asked if she could work extra hours because this is OUR time AFTER I arrived. Your job seems to get in the way of together time. That thrill of being oogled seems to trump the thrill of seeing him.

Think hard about that.
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

Wasn't this question posted a month ago but instead of go-go dancing it was burlesque? Same answer. If he doesn't want to marry an exotic dancer then you have to choose him or your job. Everything else is simply white noise.

If this is the same OP maybe this time you won't delete your thread and take the advice you receive here to heart.
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:14 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

I remember a similar post & some people focused on his anger punching walls behavior.

If you truly loved this man & he is offering to support you financially, you would have already quit.

You love the attention you get from dancing for horny men. Admit it.
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:18 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

This question was posted a month ago. I think it might be the same poster with a different account. Maybe her first account was shut down by the mods.

Please if you're a troll, stop trolling .

If you aren't a troll then stop duplicating threads.

You already know the asnwers to your question. If you can't give up from your career then break up from him. It's perfectly understandable why he doesn't accept this job.
In your first thread you said you are are burlesque dancer which is WAYYYYYYYYY different from a ballet dancer.
Being a burlesque dancer means you dance half nude so no man who wants a normal marriage would accept this.
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

Continuing to be a "go go dancer" would be a deal breaker for me, and for every decent guy I would think. There ARE men who like to profit from these types of activities that some women do, but I don't think you want to go there.
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:29 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

So basically, you're a stripper and your fiance is saying you choose to be a stripper or you choose to be with me.

Hmmmm, that's a tough one......
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:33 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad&Hubby View Post
So basically, you're a stripper and your fiance is saying you choose to be a stripper or you choose to be with me.

Hmmmm, that's a tough one......
Don't forget to add that he makes enough money to support them without her working. So the only reason she continues to be a stripper is that she enjoys the attention she gets from strange men when she strips for them.
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:39 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

Elsie,

Use the old switch - a roo here....

What if he was a male dancer at a ladies club? Would you want all sorts of hot girls stuffing dollars into HIS G-String? I personally know I wouldn't want every Tom, D!ck (lol) and Harry touchy mY wife.

Men will date a Go-Go dancer but won't marry them

It's all your choice
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:39 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by WorkingOnMe View Post
Continuing to be a "go go dancer" would be a deal breaker for me, and for every decent guy I would think. There ARE men who like to profit from these types of activities that some women do, but I don't think you want to go there.
Yeah, I think they call those guys "pimps"

Last edited by Toffer; 01-07-2013 at 08:24 PM.
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:52 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

I don't understand... she's a professional ballet dancer. Doesn't that take up more time than being a "GoGo Dancer on the side"?

it really doesn't matter whether or not she quits the go go dancing job... her ballet work will take up much more time anyway.

So is it a time issue with him or the sleazy aspect of the go go dancing.

Between that question, him punching the wall and her dancing, assuming she's not a troll, I vote for them splitting up.
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Old 01-07-2013, 06:04 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiance making me choose between him or my job!?

You should dump him. No woman who feels torn by this decision should be in a steady relationship of any kind!

JMHO
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