Dating someone and making a friend

rep · 01-10-2013, 04:58 AM

Ive been dating a wonderful women for 18 months and I truly do care for her. We have started arguing and Im wonering about the future. While Id like to think she is the one, I have a friend at work that is constantly trying to get me to meet someone. I always say no thank you.
This past week she said it again and I thought, "would it hurt to meet her, thats all". I feel that if I do, its cheating,, even if I talk to her. I feel like a jerk if I talk to this women at all.
Am I right or wrong???

SimplyAmorous · 01-10-2013, 05:54 AM

Honesty is the Best in any situation like this, if you aren't honest with your 18 month Girlfriend about being fixed up and meeting another (going out alone type thing)... it IS deception...it is a hiding, a secret.

There is nothing wrong, if you are having doubts about a relationship, if you feel this isn't going to work out, to meet another, it's your life, it's your future. You don't want to go into a marriage with a bunch of What IF's/ Only IF's.... after the fact, the time is NOW...while dating to sort all of this out.

Being together for 18 months, you've probably had a # of healthy arguments by now.....how is the Communication? Do you actively work with each other for a resolution.... not walking away from each other, giving silent treatment behavior...but ironing it out...finding peace with each other, even if it may be to "agree to disagree" at times.

What are your issues?

Cosmos · 01-10-2013, 06:04 AM

What sort of things are you and your GF arguing about? Occasional disagreements are normal in every healthy relationship, but how they are dealt with is what counts.

At the 18 month mark, I should imagine that you and your GF consider your relationship to exclusive? This being the case, meeting up with another woman would be cheating and I would consider going down this route very carefully.

rep · 01-10-2013, 07:30 AM

I agree. I feel like its cheating. We are having more and more problems. My friends are always having "get togethers", and they just want us to meet. I've said no many times.
I find myself not going to any friends outings just so I don't run into her.
I think we would get along, she is not "my type". I just feel knowing she is there makes me a jerk for wanting to go or even going. I hate dating,, so many weird rules
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EnjoliWoman · 01-10-2013, 07:36 AM

If it's a set up as a date, that would be cheating. But if it's just friends having a get together, bring the girlfriend. Then you can meet this magical woman your friend insists on meeting while in the presence of your date. That way you can decide if you want to break it off with #1 to pursue #2. Ta da.

COguy · 01-10-2013, 07:47 AM

It's not wrong to find out you want to break up with your girlfriend of 18 months. It is wrong, however, to marry said girl anyway, only to realize you were an idiot.

Your issue isn't with new girl, your issue is you lack the conviction to break up. If your girlfriend was wife material, you wouldn't be even considering seeing someone else.

Sexymomma · 01-13-2013, 09:30 AM

Well first off the grass isnt always greener on the other side. I know. It seems like everyone is always looking for more and never satisfied. As for your current girlfriend you said she has got that Wow factor and has great character then why do you feel like there is going to be someone that is better?That doesnt come along very often. Also remember everyone is not going to have everything in common. Try and find like things that you guys do have common. Thats what makes us individuals we all have different likes and dislikes. I know you were married for seventeen years but it is over. You cant be comparing every woman to your ex wife. She isnt coming back so its time to move on. The love you feel for your current girlfriend is going to be different than the love you felt for your ex wife. People give up so easy on relationships you need to try and see why were you first attracted and drawn to your current girlfriend? As for a friend at work why is he trying to get in the middle of your relationship and tear it up? What kind of friend is that? Face book always makes everyone look good we should kbow that. I say you try and work it out with your current girlfriend. At least you could say you didnt give up so easy.