STBXW says I'm still in the running!
So, my wife and I, separated 10mos and 2 wks now, have been dating and have been physically intimate with each other for the past couple months.
She is still dating other men, but a rebound of mine recently ended, so I'm not dating anyone currently. She loves to tell me how I'm "ahead of the pack" and sometimes after a date with another man, she'll text me with "another boring date. You're still the blueprint".
This past Sunday she again told me I was still in the competition. Now, at first, I sorta felt good knowing that she hadn't found anyone better than me yet, but just earlier today, I thought to myself, "why am I in any "competition" at all? Either she wants me or she doesn't". I don't like being toyed with in this way, but at the same time, I can't deny that I still really love my wife, and I'm almost sure that if I voice my true feelings about this, she'll say, "okay fine, we don't have to date anymore". And that would crush me.
I've only really let it go this far because I thought we were finding each other again, and perhaps I could save the marriage. But hell, why should I be trying to win HER back?! She's the one that cheated on ME!! She should be trying to win ME back, not the other way around!
There are other factors involved, namely our young daughter who is simply ecstatic to see Mommy and Daddy getting along, holding hands and kissing again. The first time we hugged in front of her, my daughter cried tears of happiness. At that point, I decided I would do whatever was necessary.
There's also the sex factor. Look, I'm not dating anyone, so I'm not getting any. Sex with my ex was always fantastic, and I'm not sure I'm willing to give that up just yet. But then I throw up a little thinking she's screwing other dudes, too.
She once told me that someone told her a woman should have 3 men at all times; one who can support her financially, one who is great at sex, and one for emotional support. She truly believes this credo to be valid, so I think she's trying to live it out. Why can't one man (i.e. me) be all 3 of those things? Why must I compete with other men to win my own wife back??
She agreed to get a no-contest divorce (neither one of us can really afford lawyers), but when I told her I had an appointment with a lawyer who would start the no-contest on its way, she asked me not to go, saying it's not really necessary.
So, now we're not getting divorced? But we're still living separate and dating other people?? Just what the hell is she trying to do? And why are me and my daughter forced to ride this thing with her?