General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Excuse me? Did you say he pulled a KNIFE on you? The second there was a sign of abuse you should have been out of there! What are you crazy? If that ever happens again call the cops on his ass!!
"My husband is a wonderful man and has lost control of his emotions for the first time".
He has slapped you "2-3 times" too?
All that pent up Swiss hostility is beginning to emerge. I would go to counseling on my own, then have the counselor bring him in, under the auspices of you "needing his input".
I agree--slapping you ONCE was when you should have taken action. You are tolerating abusive behavior, and it will only get worse. Please, wake up to this reality. No man has EVER hit me, and if he did, that would be it--i'd call the cops and sue his ass if were weren't married. Physical violence is never, never, never ok, and threating to throw a knife is assault with a deadly weapon. You need to document this, even if you just talk to your therapist or doctor about it. And please do that; let them know how out of hand it got. You are trying to maintain peace with him by backing away from the incident, but that is what he wants and what will be most damaging to you in the long run.
Abusive men will use their own children to hurt their partners so just b/c he hasn't hurt the kids yet, it's no guarantee he won't, down the road. Such men gain control by frightening their victim/partner. You are frightened. You don't want to read all this and you want to say, "But you don't understand. . ." Yes, we do, we've all read about domestic abuse and the insidious way it creeps into a relationship. You may be thinking "3 slaps and one knife threat in 20 years, what's the big deal?" It's a huge deal. It's totally abnormal and red-flag behavior--it's clear he CAN become physical. Do you really want to wait to find out how bad it can be?
I agree--slapping you ONCE was when you should have taken action. You are tolerating abusive behavior, and it will only get worse. Please, wake up to this reality. No man has EVER hit me, and if he did, that would be it--i'd call the cops and sue his ass if were weren't married. Physical violence is never, never, never ok, and threating to throw a knife is assault with a deadly weapon. You need to document this, even if you just talk to your therapist or doctor about it. And please do that; let them know how out of hand it got. You are trying to maintain peace with him by backing away from the incident, but that is what he wants and what will be most damaging to you in the long run.
Abusive men will use their own children to hurt their partners so just b/c he hasn't hurt the kids yet, it's no guarantee he won't, down the road. Such men gain control by frightening their victim/partner. You are frightened. You don't want to read all this and you want to say, "But you don't understand. . ." Yes, we do, we've all read about domestic abuse and the insidious way it creeps into a relationship. You may be thinking "3 slaps and one knife threat in 20 years, what's the big deal?" It's a huge deal. It's totally abnormal and red-flag behavior--it's clear he CAN become physical. Do you really want to wait to find out how bad it can be?
Thanks for being so direct. I'll be seeking counseling and I think, with time, he'll join too.
Re: Could my husband be aggressive?
