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post #286 of 288 (permalink) Old 02-12-2013, 12:22 PM
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Re: Wife hates my mom with a passion

Originally Posted by uncool View Post
Actually you're right. I have be tolerating intolerable behavior.
My question is "HOW" (besides divorcing her) do I not put up with her treatment towards my mother?

She knows very well I hate the way she treats my mom. She will not suddenly be nice to my mother again just because I want her to. She doesn't love (change that to respect) me enough to do this for me. The only way i know how to NOT tolerate this is to get ready for a big fat divorce. Keep in mind I'm trying to keep my little family together here.
You see the delima. Fear of divorce is what's got you to this stage because fear is normally a self fulfilling prophecy and it's a slow decay. Without that fear you would either be happily married with her respect or you would be divorced. It's a victor/spoils thing. My gut says your marriage is not salvagable at this point but what do I know.

Originally Posted by uncool View Post
Whereas if I divorced her because she's being mean to my mother... I'd have to ask myself if this wouldn't look like I'm choosing my mother over my wife. Then I'd be a mama's boy... which I am not. This is why I'm still in my marriage and on this forum. This is a priority of mine. I've come here for advice because I'm at my wits end. The advice I like was to work on my marriage first to see if this would resolve the wife/mother issues. And also to be a bit more alpha. So this is the direction I'll go unless someone gives me good reasons otherwise.
Her being mean to your mother is a symptom and not the problem. If you follow advice you like about alpha and fixing your marriage then there is no wife/mother issue. It's my opinion that your wife being civil the your mother who you love is required purely out of respect to you and doesn't have anything to do with your mom so these issues are connected.

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post #287 of 288 (permalink) Old 02-12-2013, 09:14 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife hates my mom with a passion

agreed on the respect issue. Now where to start
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post #288 of 288 (permalink) Old 03-11-2017, 05:51 AM
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Re: Wife hates my mom with a passion

I know this is an old post but I have the same issue and now the mother in law has joined in against my mum. My mum has does nothing wrong and loves my kids. This sort of problem erodes your relationship, our marriage is also not the best either, its easier not talking to her then arguing or having it out. If I say anything it is alway taken the worst possible way. If it was not for my baby and young daughter I would be out of there. Us blokes are in between a rock and a hard place when it comes to women. My advise to any guy who thinks about getting married to a woman with depression or other problems is to turn around and run a f-ing mile.
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