07-11-2009, 12:05 PM
Join Date: Apr 2008
| | Major Insecurity
I started dating my boyfriend 9 months ago.I had been attracted to him for many years before we met and so when we got together I believed it to be fate and we were meant to be.2 months into the relationship he said something derogatory in bed and I immediatly left and wrote him an email explaining how I thought his comment was very hurtful,he emailed back a day or so later and said he was sorry he was just horney and he did'nt want me to think it was all about sex.He went on to say he enjoyed spending time with me and wanted to continue seeing me but wants to take things slow as rushing in a relationship someone alway's get's hurt and he had been on both sides of that.He said he did'nt want to give any false impressions and that he could be standoffish at times.
He can be quite attentive and other times like he said he can be very standoffish and it drives me crazy as I keep thinking he does not care.
Fast forward to 3 months later,our relationship seemed to be getting better not so slow seeing each other more getting more phone call's even though they only lasted a couple of minutes.I went and told him one night that I was falling in love with him and his responce was Thank you.I felt so stupid and as soon as he left I emailed him to apologise for the bad timing.
I did'nt hear from him for a couple of day's and I thought for sure I had scared him away and that was the end of our relationship but he called and invited me over.When I arrived he greeted me with a big hug and he said sorry for just saying thank you,he said he had very strong feelings for me but had a problem with the love word right now I said no problem and that was the end of the conversation.
If I don't hear from him in a few day's I panic I go into a depression sleeping more and not wanting to eat.I am scared to tell him how I feel as he may think I am coming on too strong and I will push him futher away.
We have been together for 9 months now,no I love you's,no flowers,very rarely do I get a compliment.I am still waiting.I have fallen in love with him for many reasons.
I don't want to feel this way anymore.I am scared to open up to him I feel that if if he gave alittle more I could open up and share my feelings with him.
Is there hope for us when it is taking this long?He is a family man and a workaholic both come before anything else and I heard that his ex wife with whom he was married to for 20 yrs was not to nice to him and just told him out of the blue the marriage was over.I know the longest relationship he has had after his divorce has been 6 months so I feel good that we have made it to 9 months.Sometimes I think he is waiting for me to open up maybe he feels insecure also.Has anyone been in a relationship this long without the man opening up with his feelings.I feel like there should be something I should be doing to help it along but not sure what without hurting the relationship.