CWife

I have always believed Men and women can have great relationships with the opposite sex with out their being an issue. My husband has had relationships with females that I think are great!

However, about 3 days ago things changed. We have a mutual ‘friend’ that we have known for years, but really started doing a lot of things together with just a year or so ago. I remember at first, everything was great, we all had fun, lots of laughs and always felt great after having hung out with them. Then I started not having quite as much fun with them. My husband started doing things that embarrassed me or made me look bad in front of her. I discussed this with him, but he only denied doing it to me.

Things continued on in this way for the next 8 months or so, my husband and I were fighting almost every time we went over to their house. I still could not put a finger on why he was acting this way around her and why I was struggling with their relationship. I finally found out why. I was listening to the radio this past Friday and they were discussing the aspects of an emotional affair. Wow, I thought, that really hit home to me. It sounded a lot like their relationship.



I decided to confront my husband on this yesterday and even included as evidence the one deep dark secret I knew that they had shared together for months before telling me about it (and up to this point, my husband and I would have shared that information immediately with each other No Matter What!). Let’s just say he is in denial. He is just apologizing for not telling me about the secret, and calling it a lapse of judgment, nothing else.


He came home after work last night, to discuss the issues, but instead sat on the couch like a zombie. I tried to bring the subject up several times, but both times he just shut down and apologized for having a lapse of judgement.

Help, I think I am going to go crazy. He refuses to talk about it and I need to discuss this with someone! All our close friends know this person, so I can't go to them with this.

1nurse

Been there, got the t-shirt. I really don't know what to tell you. Everyone is different and every relationship is different. Read some past threads on this topic. It might be very helpful for you. I know when my ex had an EA I was damned if I did, damned if I didn't. It was all about his "friend". He lived only to please her. Frankly, it made me sick to my stomach. Glad I'm off that roller coaster and he's gone.

CWife

I guess time will tell. I feel like a part of me has died this weekend. Ughh and he was my 'true love'!

1nurse

That's what I thought too but life is funny you know? Things that seem horrible, unfair and awful turn out to be the best things that can happen to us. When I review my life, I'm 35 by the way I think wow if that didn't happen to me than this wouldn't have happened. And all the things have been good. But...when we're going through crisis it's hard to see what the future holds. I guess time will tell. Above all RESPECT YOURSELF and you'll never go wrong, believe me. People will treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated. Trust your gut. Mine has never steered me wrong.