Holy train wreck, Batman! What to do....
This may be long, I'll try to summarize best I can though.
Husband and I married 6 years, together 8. Have 2 children. He is military and has had occasional depressive swings since we met. Nothing major and very random. Fast forward to 2008, he has become a very mean, angry man. Mentally, verbally, emotionally abusive about 50% of the time. He goes to Iraq, comes back more angry and distant, and while there carried on a text/internet "thing" with another servicemember at a base near his. I stayed, he came home and we moved and (accidentally) conceived our son while in the middle of separating because his anger and rages were out of control and constant. We decide to stay together for our now two children, and fix the marriage, but he's leaving for Afghanistan so it'll be via internet for a year. It's now 2012 and he's returned.......and boy is he different. Instantly noticeable that PTSD is present, and bad. His previous anger issues and mean words have become a constant way of treating me, he also now swings happy-to-mean in a matter of hours, and multiple times a week. I left him in October of 2012, told him to see a Counselor and let me know when he was ready to get himself straight, and we'd work it out. He is now seeing a military PTSD Counselor, and I came back in December. Not 2 weeks later, he was back to rage swinging and hurling awful things at me, even blaming ME for him "having to" abuse me verbally and emotionally. When he's calm he says I'm an amazing woman that he's lucky to have, and that he hates treating me poorly but doesn't know why he does it. When I told him he HAS to bring it all up to the PTSD Counselor so he can get more in-depth treatment and (maybe?) even Meds, he keeps saying he will, but then never does and admitted he doesn't want to "ruin" his career hopes. Then last night he said (when calm, not in a rage) that he loves me and I'm his other half, but he doesn't feel that crazy-in-love, I'm-the-One kind of love for me anymore. He said he is tired of our rut, tired of my health issues causing our sex lifes decline (when it's really a combo of him always being angry so I don't want to touch him, and we're no longer 22 and have children, school, work and stress) and if I don't start giving him sex when HE wants it (3-4x a week minimum, he said) he will continue to harass me about it. He says he can't picture me not being in his future, but I told him I can't be married to someone who is used to me and cares for me, but isn't IN love with me like they should be.
What should I do here? Leave, for good? Could he have Bi-Polar disorder or is he just an @ss and I shoulda walked away before it started?! I have no friends where we're stationed, and my family consists of just a Mom who is unsupportive and unhelpful, and a Brother I never see/talk to.
I'm lost and alone and sooooo unsure of anything & everything right now.