General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Re: Why are women afraid to stand up against porn?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open up now let it all go
Interesting, yet polarizing discussion this is.
I'll have to go now. My girlfriend is coming over and I need to quickly attach electrodes to my nipples to exite myself as the regular animal porn isn't doing it for me anymore.
Have a good night.
"Interesting" is a mild way to put it.
I actually agree with TriggerHappy on a few points she's made here and there, but then she takes it to such cartoonish extremes that I'm just left kinda scratching my head.
Btw, TriggerHappy is an incredibly appropriate name for you, OP
Re: Why are women afraid to stand up against porn?
I think being against porn is a very fair boundary provided it's a boundary that is openly discussed before marriage and everyone is on board with it.
My SO isn't against porn in general but he's against porn when in a relationship.I'm only against certain types of porn regardless of relationship status.
He asked me to stop viewing porn pics casually,gave very solid reasons that I could connect with and I respected his request.It's that easy but then again,he meets all my needs and I was just looking bc I find sex and naked people fascinating
It gets dodgy when people don't express their hatred for something up front and it has to be addressed in the heat of the moment.Usually both parties shut down and no one is heard.
Re: Why are women afraid to stand up against porn?
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Originally Posted by ScarletBegonias
DISLIKE
Well it might be a great way to stop the men from looking at porn, and jackin' off.
Just remove the label and replace it with an " Astro glide " or
" KY Jelly " label.......
Re: Why are women afraid to stand up against porn?
Quote:
Originally Posted by triggerhappy
And you know what? how people choose to deal with this issue in their private life is up to them. My only concern is when it leaves their private lives and enters a marriage forum such as this one, and people who are pro-porners descend upon them like swarm of locusts. That's my only issue.
I think women should be allowed to not accept it without being villinized for it when they aren't the ones not doing anything wrong.
Not only do they swarm, they also make the person feel as if there is something wrong with them by insulting them. So that person is left feeling as if they are the problem instead of the porn addict who is replacing his wife with porn. If you want it in your marriage, fine, but do not say that a person who does NOT want it in their marriage is flawed.
Personally, I found that the stats on the amount of BOTH men and women in porn who have been sexually molested staggering. That alone is enough for me not to be interested in porn. I choose not to capitalize on someone else's anguish even if they do not see it as such as of now, they might eventually. I also find it slightly odd that some of the "PURE" people watch porn and fantasize about other men, and get off on porn which is nothing but people that they would consider "UNPURE"....LMAO. People are so strange at times.
Re: Why are women afraid to stand up against porn?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caribbean Man
Well it might be a great way to stop the men from looking at porn, and jackin' off.
Just remove the label and replace it with an " Astro glide " or
" KY Jelly " label.......
Its supposed to last for up to 6 hours.
Just trying to help with the porn problem...
or you could have sex until he can't get it up for masturbation but that's just what I'd do if I had an issue with SO viewing porn.I'm sure other ladies have other ways of fixing issues.
Re: Why are women afraid to stand up against porn?
Quote:
Originally Posted by triggerhappy
And you know what? how people choose to deal with this issue in their private life is up to them. My only concern is when it leaves their private lives and enters a marriage forum such as this one, and people who are pro-porners descend upon them like swarm of locusts. That's my only issue. It's truly hard to witness without saying something about it.
I think women should be allowed to not accept it without being villinized for it when they aren't the ones not doing anything wrong.
My wife strongly disapproves of pornography and I respect that.
At the same time though, we both have a bone of contention with her extended family. Our youngest is still at home and working on a Master's in Art History and hiding textbooks which present a chronological history of the human form in art when they come to visit gets old after awhile. They seem to think her chosen field is institutionalized porn.
That's really my primary interest in threads like this, although I do feel sorry for men whose wives decide that sex is not really that important in marriage and then go ballistic when they catch him with porn after months or years of neglect.
Re: Why are women afraid to stand up against porn?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletBegonias
or you could have sex until he can't get it up for masturbation but that's just what I'd do if I had an issue with SO viewing porn.I'm sure other ladies have other ways of fixing issues.
That's why you are so different Scarlet.
Some women refuse to have good sex with their husbands, complain of low drive etc., constantly reject him and when he turns to porn, suddenly they get insecure and their libido comes back....
The solution to that porn problem is very easy.
The problem is not the porn.It is deeper.
Find the problem and deal with it.
Re: Why are women afraid to stand up against porn?
"When you watch porn by yourself, on some subtle level you experience it as a failure to be selected for sex. Sex is happening “right in front of you” by a attractive available female, but she doesn’t choose you to have sex with. She does it with her co-star. So on a subtle level you lose. He’s the Alpha, you’re the Beta pumping your own ****."
Porn can also work as the crutch propping up your end of a sexless or low sex marriage. At some point if you’re going to move on and fix the problem between you and your wife, you’re going to have to kick the crutch out from under you and learn to stand on your own two feet again. If you’re always whacking off to porn, you’ll never have the motivation to rock her world, nor the ability anyway if you’re drained and limp.
Re: Why are women afraid to stand up against porn?
Quote:
Originally Posted by triggerhappy
AND the beauty of it all, is that THEY are allowed to be "militant" about it, but god forbid a woman plants her feet firmly and says NO, I will not accept this, I don't have to accept this! and she will be called all the classic names Pro-porners use;
This proved my point, almost like I set the bait and it was snatched by hungry sharks.
Go back and reread your opening post in this thread and then look me straight in the eye and tell me it was written with the intent of having a meaningful conversation.
You've made several statements of content and intent in my posts there were never there. I am happy to defend everything I actually said, but not the words that have been put into my mouth by others.
You went chumming for sharks and shouldn't be surprised when you found a few.
Re: Why are women afraid to stand up against porn?
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Originally Posted by anony2
"When you watch porn by yourself, on some subtle level you experience it as a failure to be selected for sex. Sex is happening “right in front of you” by a attractive available female, but she doesn’t choose you to have sex with. She does it with her co-star. So on a subtle level you lose. He’s the Alpha, you’re the Beta pumping your own ****."
Porn can also work as the crutch propping up your end of a sexless or low sex marriage. At some point if you’re going to move on and fix the problem between you and your wife, you’re going to have to kick the crutch out from under you and learn to stand on your own two feet again. If you’re always whacking off to porn, you’ll never have the motivation to rock her world, nor the ability anyway if you’re drained and limp.
But isn't Athol Kay , MMSL and the whole " Alpha/ Beta " stuff discredited by the majority of women here on TAM?
so could that part quoted also be just
"... a bunch of hogwash designed for weak men.."
769Likes
Re: Why are women afraid to stand up against porn? 
