07-17-2009, 02:37 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3
|  dating , have you experienced any one of these?
have u experienced any one of these things in a new relationship and how did you deal with it what was it like for you. i am looking for some advice support understanding empathy hints for a complicated and stressful situation i went through in the last months.
and how did you handle them any of these will do you dont have to answer each one.
being woken up repetitively in the middle of the night by a new partner who is very needy , i understand some cope better with this than others, i could not handle it! i did try to communicate and please her in this and so many ways or solve it but still time again it was all one way and this was particularly difficult i really need my sleep.
having a partner who is very needy relies on you to do everything, work earn pay all bills, tidy, pay all her needs, help her off the couch, switch on the heater, listen to her for hours daily
having a partner who didnt want you to relax after work, but only to listen to her talk on and on
having a partner who didnt have friends or counselling was new in the state, and relied on you to be her friend, family partner counsellor earner provider clearner etc and it was just too much
having a partner who came from interstate and didnt have anywhere to stay so ended up moving in with you too soon too fast. ( i like to get to know someone over time so stress doesnt build up so much and we can get breaks when stress builds up to rethink, seek advice, recover, so we deal with thigns better)
having friends family who are helpful with good advice for adjusting to various issues in relationships and it being very helpful supportive
having friends and family who i felt i needed support help end or get a break from a destructive relationship when it was immediately effecting my health and work too much and i couldnt get them out of my home and i couldnt cope with them in my home but wished i deallly that it could be done in a way to leave the door open to still working on a relationship when i wasnt so worn downafter a break and not necesarily while living together
wanting counselling to fix a relationship but meanwhile with extra crisis happening that were not work related, not having the energy or time immediately to seek the counselling and pressure building up.
wishing in hindsight that i could have found a better way to break up, or not break but just get some space and needs heard, but hindsight always has extra details that i didnt think of at the time.
wondering when we should just find someone who is easier to live with and not so high maintenance, not such a taker, more contributing and equal in more ways, financially, emotionally, and practically
and when we should still try to see if it can work despite there being so many basic hurdles
eg they dont have work, they dont contribute financially, they are ruining my health
is it always up to me to fix my own relationships, or is there a point when caring friends and family should try to invovle themselves if its a situation where its already very destructive to my health /sanity and to me coping with keeping my job
or should friends as a total blanket rule always not interfere even if the health sanity and work of the person is suffering irretrivably in a destructive relationship.
has anyone lived with anyone else too soon and then moved into separate places but still wanting to go out and make it work and get to know each other but not while having the full pressure of living together. in other words they moved in together too soon and then they reverse it but dont break up.
Sue.
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